Monday, 27 June 2016

Are you a pushy or encouraging parent?

Here's a dilemma. When is it considered you are an encouraging parent or you are a pushy parent?

As a dad of five children my older three children have always been involved in sport and activities outside of school. All three played football to which I was very involved and the truth is I wanted them to achieve. Yes, I admit I wanted them to be the best, but that can't always happen children are natural athletes, but of course some have to work a bit harder at it. 

I stood on the sidelines of football pitches in all weathers watching my children play and I was, I think a quiet sort of parent although I was coaching the girls as well so at times it was a difficult balance between keeping a level head and encouraging everybody to do well. 

On many occasions I saw those parents that I grew to dislike with a passion. Their child was playing their hearts out and trying their absolute best. Then from the sidelines you heard a mum or dad screaming at their child about how dreadful they were playing It's shocking behaviour and this would happen at least once a match at every game and also the same people would regularly abuse the referee. 

Sunday, 26 June 2016

My Sunday Photo

This moment of pure laughter and excitement,after pouring ice cold water over Daddy's head just captured perfectly,the fun we are having on our summer holiday. I think our twin girls were being encouraged by Mummy to do it.

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Have you become complacent in your relationship

Relationships come in many forms today and the truth is they can be very hard to hold it all together in the very busy lives that we live.

The stresses and strains of parenting work etc can at times put a huge pressure on making your relationship work. 

Do we at times forget those little things that make it all work make your partner,wife etc feel special because it is so easy to become complacent. 

Do we set out priorities in our lives as far as our children and partners are concerned for me I don't my children and wife are of equal importance to me. 

I like to think my wife and myself have a strong loving relationship that in truth has mostly ups and very few downs. This is hopefully what especially our four year old twins are learning from us,on how to form a good relationship. 

To me it's not rocket science if you are in love with each other and you laugh with each other your children are going to be happy so surely their is no need to put one above the other as has recently been suggested by some celebrity interviews. 

I am actually staggered that people can make that decision putting your partner above your children to me I would find it an impossible decision not one I could make. 

You marry and hopefully that marriage is for a lifetime and you have children which is also for life it's not something surely! That once they reach a certain age they put in second place it's not something in my opinion that should even be comtemlated. 

Yes of course your children grow up and leave eventually and you and your partner are left together but things shouldn't change if your children have grown up in loving lie free childhood they will come back home and your family is still there as a loving enviroment.

Again the media and celebrities are trying to force there opinions upon us this seems to be so common place by society in general I do wonder when society will allow people to make their own decisions about how to live their lives. 

Friday, 24 June 2016

Time and children

The concept of time for children is a long process of learning.

My four year old twins know how to say one minute and so on, but they have no concept of how long one minute is. One of the examples of this is M. At four years old we have the same conversation on a regular basis at bedtime. Occasionally we allow the girls to watch night garden just before going to sleep in their beds and I always say three minutes, that's all M, to which she replies four minutes, I will always say ok because I know she has no idea, not a clue about how long four minutes is, so after about 45 seconds to a minute I say that's it your four minutes are finished, and she instantly say ok! I turn the tv off and off she goes to sleep. 

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Thursday, 23 June 2016

Brilliant dad feature week 68

This week our featured brilliant dad is Julian who is an award winning blogger. His blog is called Northern Dad.

He is a freelance copywriter, mainly working in advertising, but he has also done a few bits and pieces for Viz. He is a father of two and for privacy reasons he refers to his kids as Hall & Oates. Darryl Hall is a 13-year-old boy and John Oates is a 7-year-old girl.

Thank you very much to Julian for taking part.

1. Have you always wanted to be a dad?

Yes, I even went out into the world with the sole intention of finding someone who could improve my gene pool.

Rather than selecting a woman through gut-feeling, I would make them do push-ups and then complete a Sudoku puzzle.

2. How did you feel when your children were born?

Extremely lucky. My wife had her appendix removed when she was three months pregnant with our first child. The highest rate of foetal loss after appendectomy is in the first and second trimester. The surgeon only gave our baby a fifty-fifty chance of survival. He's thirteen now, and like all thirteen-year-olds he's obsessed with thongs and fireworks. If someone invented a thong that blew up they'd make a mint. 

3. What have been your most rewarding experiences so far as a Dad?

My daughter's primary school has just run an Easter bonnet competition for the kids and they took the bold step of banning all entries that looked like they had been made by a parent. My daughter won, which tells you all you need to know about my bonnet making skills.

4. What are some of funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?

My daughter regularly mishears things in class. Recently, she had a history lesson about the famous Egyptian boy king who she still refers to as, Tutan Ka-Boom. 

5. Have there been any situations with your children that you have found
difficult to cope with?

Like me, my son is a complete fanny at sports. His coordination is way off but thankfully his school football team is useless and he managed to get in the team. So far, they have lost every game they have played. Trying to encourage him to play, knowing full well that he will get subbed early from a team that always loses is hard. Last week he came home after the game looking happy. 

What happened?” I asked. “Did you get subbed?”

No...well sort of,” he replied.

How can you be 'sort of' subbed?” I asked.

I asked to come off.”

Why?” I asked.

It was the best thing for the team.” Up until that moment I didn't know you could cry inside.
6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?

My daughter makes me laugh every day and I hope she grows up and finds someone who gives her as much joy as she gives everyone else.
With regards to my teenage son, I really hope there's a dramatic fall in the price of thongs and fireworks.

This is me coming second in the Kissing Cousins competition at Butlins. There was a steward's enquiry afterwards when it was discovered that the winners were in fact brother and sister. I think you can see the shame in her face.

This is me coming second in the Kissing Cousins competition at Butlins. There was a steward's enquiry afterwards when it was discovered that the winners were in fact brother and sister. I think you can see the shame in her face. 

Tuesday, 21 June 2016

The magical place

I have come to believe that our home is a magical place, or at least that's what I have been convinced of.

Why do I think it is magic? First of all there are four year old twins living here. The girls have an innocence and naivety about the real world which is something to behold. This won't be there for long because children grow up so quickly.