Brilliant Dad Feature Week 101
This week is the start of our second century of the Brilliant Dad Feature and this week it’s Kevin who is from Canada. Kevin blogs at Dadsense he says Raising a baby in urban Canada has its challenges, but with a little patience and clever planning they make it work. His blog Dadsense is an insight to ‘dadding’, product reviews, and questions that we didn’t know we needed to ask, as well as a handful of adorable photos thrown in for good measure!
Thank you very much for Kevin for taking part.
1. Have you always wanted to be a dad?
This is going to sound horrible, but no! Before I met my wife I really didn’t consider it. I was immature and barely responsible for myself – how could I support another human?
My mother ran a daycare when I was growing up I helped out after school (oh the 80s… things were so different back then), so I understood the technical stuff – diaper changes, warming bottles, putting kids down for naps, and teaching them how to walk. I suppose I only ever saw the work involved, not the joy of parenting.
When I got married we asked the same two questions every year: Do we want kids? Are we ready for kids? Over time the answers changed from no/no to yes/no and after 4 years of traveling, owning a dog, and staying up until 4 am watching bad TV and old movies, we agreed we were ready. That said we never finished watching all of Star Trek: Enterprise. NO SPOILERS!
2. How did you feel when your children were born?
Completely unprepared and terrified. The Wee Baby T was born a full month early. I was only half-way through The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a New Dad! For months I had been telling myself (and everyone around) I was ready for this, “How hard could it be?”; but when he first cried at 6:30am on July 1st, I couldn’t help, but join in.
Of course after 5 minutes the fear subsided and I have never been happier.
What amazed me most was that after 18 hours of labour, after being awake for 40 hours, after feeling like I was about to fall asleep standing up just 10 minutes prior, the second the nurse put him in my arms I felt like I could run a marathon. Even to this day, when T cries I get an amazing surge of energy and I feel like I can take on the world if need be – anything to help my boy.
3. What have been the most rewarding experiences been so far?
That first smile? When he actually reached for my hand with intent instead of accidentally grabbing a finger as he flailed his arms wildly? Any time someone is holding him and he won’t stop screaming until daddy takes over. That’s the best. I play it off, saying “Oh, you did all the hard work and calmed him down…” but inside I’m thinking “NEENER-NEENER!!”
4. What are some of funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?
I woke with a start one night and threw myself up into a pushup. “HUN! MOVE HIM! I’M CRUSHING HIM!!!!” My wife rolled over and looked at me wondering what was going on. I had a dream that I brought our son back to bed with me, so when I woke up laying on my stomach, I concluded the pillow MUST be our baby, and I was slowly suffocating him. After about 15 seconds we both realized what was going on and had a good laugh.
Then there was the night that T was crying. My wife got up to take care of him and I stopped her: “Here, give him this, it will calm him down.” I passed her a pillow thinking it was his manky blanky. To this day she still has a laugh about the time I suggested she ‘calm’ our son with a pillow.
Huh… I’m pretty funny when I’m asleep.
5. Have there been any situations with your children that you found difficult to cope with?
Everyone says that parenting will be the hardest endeavor of your life. I agree it is challenging, but I think of it like this: Taking care of T is my biggest accountability. He’s screaming? Fix it. Hungry? Deal with it. Need to go back to the hospital for the 4th day in a row because his Bilirubin levels are still to high? Hail a cab, it’s time to get to work. Be methodical, be patient, and you can resolve anything.
Sure the sleepless nights aren’t pleasant – I’ve been so tired that I took the dog out for a walk, but forgot the dog. I was standing in the elevator, leash in hand when a neighbor pointed out there was nothing attached to the other end. Yet still, we roll up our sleeves (particularly for those REALLY bad diapers) and do what we have to do because we’re parents – the strongest living creatures on the planet.
That said I think I hate his monthly doctors visits (and the corresponding vaccinations) more than he does. Load up on Redbull, it’s going to be a long night.
6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?
I think T would make a great lawyer: He’s full of crap and always manages to get what he wants. That said he is only 6 months, so it may be a little early to start pushing him in that direction.
I hope T grows up to be strong, kind, and successful – whatever that means to him. The most important lesson that I think I can pass on to him is that a job isn’t finished until you’re proud of the end result. If he masters that one I’ll be happy – and I think he will too…
Wait, the most important lesson I can teach him is to pass and move in footie. Find open space, get down the wing and stay onside!!!