For around nine or so days I have been feeling quite a bit of dad guilt when it comes to my five year old twin girls.
It has been a hectic time with my mum having a long stay in hospital, my son going off to university and me going to Manchester for BlogOn xmas 2017.
I feel the girls have hardly seen me. Amongst all these other things going on, I have had to also do my usual job as a painter and decorator, and also try to fit in my blogging commitments.
On the Friday before I went to BlogOn in Manchester I had to do something which was to be filmed for the blog, this ended up taking all day. I saw the girls for a while after school, but then had to fly up to the hospital and over the supermarket to get some final things for my son to take to university, by the time I arrived home the girls were in bed asleep.
On the Saturday I was gone to Swansea for my son to start to university and then straight to Manchester for a blogging conference I saw my twin girls for about an hour early Saturday morning. I didn’t arrive back home until about 10pm Sunday night.
On the Monday I saw the girls for a while before they went to school and then I had to work on the blog all day, before going up the hospital to see Mum and again by the time I got home the girls were in bed again.
The cycle continued all week as I had a big job to start as a painter and decorator which meant leaving early for work and arriving home late.
Life sometimes just runs at high speed with so many things you have to do and you can so easily forget the important parts of your life which for me is family, my twins are five years old and I simply don’t want to miss anything, but I do and the guilt I feel is terrible.
Children grow up so quickly. I remember that so well from watching my older children grow up. So many things in life got in the way, and I feel I missed so much.
Sometimes you have to step back and decide what’s really important, which for me is my children, being there taking an interest in their lives, because especially with my twins they will be teenagers in a blink of an eye and going through that stage of not talking to us. Haha
Finally a week or so on, my mum came out of hospital and Saturday was a free day that I got to spend at home without interruption. We all went swimming and visited my Mum at her home, in the afternoon.
The feeling of guilt that I felt during this week that I hardly saw my twin girls was immense.
It also taught me that I need to organise my life better so that I spend more time at home.
Do you get parent guilt? Because life sometimes gets in the way. How do you deal with it?
I would love to hear your thoughts.