When you become a parent for the first time there is no doubt you’re completly clueless, so as new parents we often go off to our local bookstore to buy some parenting books because of course when the baby is impossible to comfort and screaming the place down at 2am you can quickly run to the bookshelf get your parenting book and find the answer! Yes, of course you can, haha!
In my humble opinion as a father of five, these books are not worth the paper they are written on. They really won’t give you the right answers to parenting and here are the reasons why I think that is.
Parenting is a very tough buisness all the way from baby to adulthood, and you really have no idea what you are going to come up against on a daily basis.
My take on being a good parent is quite simple. First of all every child is a very unique human being with completely different needs and demands, and how can you possibly parent via a textbook because the answers are simply not there.
I have always considered instinct as the best answer, whether that is a collective decision by both parents or just one if one of the parents is not around. When a decision needs to made quickly, your mother or mother-in-law, or any other relative will have an opinion. But resist acting on it! 99 times out of 100 they will be wrong. YOUR decision will always be the right one.
I have raised three children to adulthood and they have turned out pretty good I think, with lots of hiccups along the way, but I never once found the answer in a book, it was somewhere hiding in my mind and I drew upon my experiences of life to find the answer.
I’m no way about to change this philosophy of parenting in relation to my four year old twin girls. It’s my way of parenting and I can assure everybody it only works for children, and it’s far from a secret formula because if it was I would be a millionaire, but it works for me.
My only advice to new parents is what I have always said. There is no right way to parent. There is only your way and that will be the right way because NOBODY knows your child like you do. You will always know what to do.
I have always considered being a parent my finest achievement in life (not sure my kids agree though haha!), but it has also been the toughest thing I have done. The reason is that you instantly have a totally unconditional love and you will do anything to make their lives as perfect as possible. The cost of being a parent is of course your sanity “only joking ” haha!
Would love to hear your thoughts.