Oh No! It’s One Of Those Texts Again

Last year in March 2017 I wrote a post called Oh No! A Text I Never Wanted To Read. The post was all about my eldest daughter texting me about possibly going to live in Australia. My heart sank instantly and I struggled to come to terms with the thought of one of my children living on the other side of the world. I have only gone and had another one of those texts.

Since March of last year not a lot has been said about going to live in Australia until just a few days ago.

Yes! The dread filled my heart again and I received a text from my daughter J saying what’s the best airline to fly to Australia with? Its many years since I lived in Australia, but I suggested Qantas mainly because they were the best airline when I was living there, and yes I had to tag on the end of the text “why’s that then?” Curiosity was getting the better of me.

We had a little chat via text about it all, and she said she is thinking of going for a holiday with her partner/boyfriend at the end of this year. She also joked that once they had experienced Australia they wouldn’t want come back. The truth of that is it is probably true. She won’t want to come back. The more I think about it, I wonder what is to come back to in this very messed up and dysfunctional country called the UK.

We will be leaving the E.U. in the next couple of years, which I believe will have a massively detrimental effect on our young generation. The opportunities in the UK are going to be dramatically reduced once we are on our own and not part of Europe, anymore. We need Europe more than they need us. Businesses are going to be leaving in their droves to set up somewhere else in Europe. As soon as brexit comes to a close, the future of the UK’s younger generation, which just happens to be our future leaders is looking bleak, in my humble opinion.

So it looks like my eldest daughter and her boyfriend will be going on holiday to Australia at the end of the year. She has spoken to her cousin who lives in Western Australia about the best places to visit, and there is no doubt that once she sets her mind to something she will achieve it. So I fully expect them to go on holiday to Australia.

We did have a conversation on the phone yesterday and I think she sees this as testing the waters, with the potential to moving to Australia. I did joke with her that it’s ok if her boyfriend wants to stay there, but she has to come home. Even though I’m joking and we can laugh about it, there is the tiniest bit of truth in what I’m saying. I know! She is 22 years old and you have to let go sooner or later. I suppose. I just don’t want to! Help!

The reality is your children do become adults and they take the responsibility of making their own decisions about what they want from their lives. We as parents have to take a back seat and watch them find their way in the world, whichever part of the world that may be.

Seriously I would never stand in the way of any decision my children make, but the thought of not having my daughter around the corner from where I live is one where it leaves me with a heavy heart. I guess if we could, we would all have our children living nearby forever. But the world has changed and got smaller and it so easy to travel to different countries quickly and easily nowadays.

There is of course phones, video calling etc, but it’s not quite the same as calling in for a chat during the week. Anyways time will tell. Going for a holiday is, I think the best plan to see if you like the place and would help in making a more informed decision about going to live in Australia.

Whatever my eldest daughter, J, decides it will be the right decision for her and her life. If it all went pear shaped I will still be here to help in any way I can, because no matter what age your children are, the deal of the parent is to be a parent for a lifetime.

I would love to hear your comments.

24 thoughts on “Oh No! It’s One Of Those Texts Again

  1. Happy New Year, texts can be heartstopping and thought provoking. No doubt by your daughter will have an amazing time in Oz. We have family there and I s so much easier to stay in touch with FB and FaceTime #ThatFridayLinky

  2. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do for a few years now. I’m the type of person that could just drop everything and go. My partner on the other hand is a home bird and would miss the family too much. But she’s the one with the degree and the one that could get us to Australia.

  3. My sister, her husband and their two children have lived in Australia for 10 years – they are now citizens. She, not the children had even been to Australia, her husband emigrated there with his parents when he was really young but they came home when his younger brother was born (who has dual nationality). I thought at the time she was crazy to not even visit but they’ve really settled there.

    My eldest is 14, the next 13 and we’re actually encouraging them now to travel, a gap year even (should they actually want to go down the Uni route). I didn’t travel, we didnt’ travel. I’m not one for regrests but if I were this would be one. Rather than a regret I see it as a missed opportunity. Four children later our new plan is get them set on their paths then travel (a bit like a mature student going back to Uni once the kids have flown the nest).

    I won’t hold my girls back if they wish to live elsewhere, be it the other end of country or the other side of the world. Life is for living. Of course I’d miss them, and I hope they’d miss us but that just an emotion that you learn to live with.

    Our 9 year old is dance mad. She currently as a goal of cruising the world performing on the ships. Nice goal to have and I truly hope she achieves it (giving us an excuse to visit her!). But, dancing and performing could take her literally anywhere – scary but at the same time fantastic thought.

  4. That’s one hell of a move! Pretty impressive if I’m honest with you and you should be proud that you raised a daughter with so much confidence.

    It’s going to be tough for you both. But a supportive dad is one she’ll miss more than a negative one.

    Life is for living right.

  5. What a dilemma indeed: we want them to be strong and independent enough to go anywhere, do anything – just not yet … or ever! It won’t be long till my 14 and 12 year olds will be on that position. I see two of my brothers with kids in Singapore, Thailand and Poland and I know myself and my wife don’t envy them

  6. I know a thing or two about Australia… Seriously though, I can imagine how hard it must be for you to think about your daughter travelling so far away. From her perspective, travel is a wonderful opportunity and I hope she is able to do it. I travelled the world when I was about her age and it was one the best times of my life.
    Also, Singapore Airlines does a pretty good job from London to Sydney. QANTAS is good, but probably a bit more expensive. #ThatFridayLinky

  7. I can imagine how hard it must have been to read that text, my little boy is still way too young to be thinking of anything like that, but even just thinking of family members who have packed up and left breaks my heart. Like you, I wonder why I stay in the UK when there are so many better cities/countries to explore and call home. You are a great dad and I’m sure the support and love you give them is everything and more than they are looking for. #ThatFridayLinky

  8. It’s a tough one but you have to let her follow her dreams. We have mulled over moving abroad before and although we’ve not done it yet sometimes you have to just be a bit selfish and do what is right for you and the family even though it means leaving family and friends behind. It’s pretty hard to get in there permanently so hopefully she’ll be back!! #thatfridaylinky

  9. Happy New Year Nige. I have to admit to getting a lump in my throat reading this, the thought of one of my “babies” wanting to move to the other side of the world terrifies me. Just the other night Lewis was talking about university and I felt sick at the thought of him moving away and not seeing him every day as I do. I guess that’s always going to be the hardest part of being a parent, letting them go. I hope that your daughter has a wonderful holiday and if she decides to stay there, Im sure that you guys will make it work with calls and visits. It’s hard though, as much as I want my children to fly, I’m not quite ready yet to accept that they might! #thatfridaylinky

  10. My daughters are 7 and 4, so this kind of conversation is some way off. But I can well imagine that it would be difficult to accept.

    I lived in Australia for a while, with parents back in the UK, and it wasn’t so bad. Even as the (grown up) child, I felt the distance, but keeping in regular touch by phone etc helps a lot.

    Good luck!

  11. Firstly I totally agree with your analysis of Brexit. Sad and worrying times. Your daughter sounds like she has a very loving Dad which puts her ahead of the game straightaway. She will have that security wherever she ends up. I think I am only now realising how troublesome I must have been for my parents and how much I must have worried them with some of my choices and I was a pretty good girl. Also now I have two teens and a tween, I know how I struggle to let them be and only recently realised that I cannot run their lives for them and they must do that themselves at some point. Good Luck to you and your loved ones for 2018

  12. Ah I can’t imagine how it feels. But what an exciting opportunity. Australia is somewhere I’ve always wanted to visit but I can’t imagine leaving to live. Good luck to her (and you!) whichever she chooses! #thatfridaylinky

  13. Exciting times for your daughter, you can only let her follow her dreams and hopefully follow for holidays if she decides to settle. I thought losing the 1st to University last year was hard enough! Mind you he has since quit and now doing an apprenticeship in Cornwall so I’ve yet to really have one fly the nest. #ThatFridayLinky

  14. I couldn’t imagine my children wanting to leave. Luckily they are still young, so I get to “keep them” safely under my wing for a few more years. It must be so difficult to put your own wants aside and allow your children to make the decisions that will shape their lives. Good luck to you and your family, as you say, at least there is technology nowadays! #thatfridaylinky

  15. My husband has often suggested we all ‘up sticks’ and move to America for a few years. It has always scared me tho because what if one of my kids decide to stay there..? It so heartbreaking – but you mut be proud of your daughter for being so fearless. x #thatfridayfeeling

  16. As a Daddoo to two young children I can’t imagine how this would feel. On one hand you want to support and help them on the other you want them close by. I suppose, like you say Nige, you have to let them live and always be around whatever happens. Best of luck with it all.

  17. That is so far away! I hope, whatever happens, you find happiness, as does your daughter. And Brexit and mr t have certainly changed the allure of staying put… #ThatFridayLinky xoxo

  18. I get what you’re feeling totally. My sister left for a new life in Australia almost a year to the day. I’ve watched my Dad miss her every single day for this year. I do too, but having kids myself I know it would be a completely different kind of feeling having your child so far away.

    What I can tell you is, she will be happy. If she does take the leap. My sister has had the best year of her life and is currently enjoying it even more as my other sister is there now visiting for a whole month!

    There’s a reason there isn’t a manual for parenting… No one would ever do it! LOL!

  19. I loved Australia when I holidayed there – I only went to Sydney as that’s where my family live, and so I would love to go back another time and travel it a bit. Lots of people suggested that I should go back packing but I’m a bit of a home bod and get homesick easily that’s why I travel by taking short holidays. I can’t begin to imagine how I will feel if my children said they were off travelling. #ThatFridayLinky

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