I have been a father for 23 years and over those years there have been times when I have wondered if my children think I have special powers to put everything right that may not be right in their lives. Truth is of course I don’t, not even close to it.
I have, like so many other parents, been making it up over the last 23 years, and yes you have guessed it, I am still making it up on a daily basis.
Parenting is a minefield and the problems are there constantly, they are just a different set of problems depending on the age of your child, and just when you think you sorted out a certain set of childhood issues your children grow up a little bit more and there is a completely different set of issues you have to deal with.
This is where my supposedly special powers come into play. I have to start second guessing what’s going to happen next which I have to admit I have failed at more times than I care to mention. The biggest mistake I always made was looking back at my own childhood and thinking yes I remember a similar situation, this is how we deal with that. Of course that is completely wrong. The big mistake is believing the situation or issue is similar. It’s not even close, it’s a different era, different world and most importantly a different person who although the situation is similar we all react differently. My tip to any parent is never use your experiences of a similar situation and apply it to your child. You’re guaranteed to fail and fail big-time.
I understand why your children think you have special powers, after all you are their mum or dad. You protect and look after them, you go above and beyond the call of duty on a regular basis for them, and our children see us as the one person they can always turn to when things go wrong or who can say the right words that makes the world a better place.
In my humble opinion we as parents do have special powers, but not ones that superheroes possess. They are far more simple.
1. To love our children unconditionally, and let them know how much you love them. Never be slow to utter those three little word, ‘I Love You’. I tell my children as often as I can how much I love them, which is often everyday even if my older children text me I always finish the text with a kiss and love you lots.
2. Hugging and cuddles. This is a very special power of mine as a dad, and it doesn’t matter how old your children are. Back in the summer my 23 year old was going through a tough time, and she came to see me. and I knew all she needed was a cuddle of course it didn’t solve her problems, but it said to her that my dad is here for me to help in any way he can.
3. Listening is a special power that every parent should have. I know I wasn’t born with an ability to listen very well and I always thought I was right in my youth, but when I became a parent I developed the ability to listen to my children instead of preaching to them about how to do something. The results are amazing because you are more likely to see your children come to you for advice without fear of being judged.
So there you go. Those are my special powers and if any of my children are reading this, yes your dad does have special powers, maybe not the ones you think because I can’t leap tall buildings or fly to the moon and back, or become captain America, but what I can do is be there for you always and forever and love you all with all heart.
I would love to hear your thoughts.