The IVF journey is one that I would compare to a rollercoaster of emotions. It can be heartbreaking, yet at the other end of the scale it can bring incredible joy. It’s a bit like getting to the end of the rainbow to find your pot of gold, but with IVF it’s having that wonderful moment when you get to hold your new born baby and all the heartache is taken away.
Unfortunately it doesn’t always work out that way, but here is my story.
My wife and I were, for various reasons not eligible for NHS treatment so we had to go down the route of a private clinic, which is expensive, and in all honesty when we started out I didn’t see how we would be able to do more than one cycle because of this being simply down to the cost. I wrote a post about private clinics overcharging which you can read here.
Our IVF journey started very quickly and before I knew it we were straight onto the standard tests that have to be done and we had a consultation with the consultant. Before I know it we very quickly had dates set for sperm retrieval and then all the medication that my wife needed to take for egg removal was piled up on our living room table! Then it was time for the embryo transfer.
The way we are as people always meant that we would want everything to be done as it should be, without deviation and that meant that my wife’s injections were done at the same time every day, almost to the minute.
One of the pressures of IVF is that the only people you have for support is one another, because it’s for whatever reason generally not spoken about over Sunday dinner with family!
Saying that though, there are many support groups online that are invaluable because there is always a million questions and yes, Google can give you the answers, but sometimes you just want to hear somebody’s experience of maybe part of the journey. Although I will say that most groups are female dominated and I understand that, but for me there were many occasions where I really wanted to speak to another male about things and my fears and hopes.
This may sound strange, but we didn’t really pick our clinic. I always felt it was destiny. This is because they’re a new clinic which had not long opened and we just came across them online one day and I guess it just felt right.
What inspired me to write this post about a small part of our IVF journey was a report I read by the BBC show Panorama about extras that are offered to patients by clinics that cost thousands. It has been said that after research these treatments are of little or no help. I’m sure that there are plenty of clinics out there that are praying on people’s desperation to have a baby.
The clinic we used never at any point pressured or tried to sell us extra treatments. They told us what the cost was and were very transparent with their price lists and they behaved in a very ethical and moral way. This I believe is down to two very responsible medical professionals who believed in what they were doing. I reaslise it is also a business and they are making a very good living, but to me it didn’t cloud their decisions when dealing with us.
Our clinic was always on hand to help us and there on the phone for anything that may have been trivial, but sometimes we just needed reassuring and they never let us down.
Our IVF journey ended with the birth of our beautiful twin girls after our first attempt. I guess we were lucky. I don’t know maybe it was just meant to be and it was our turn. I got to hold my twin girls in my arms as soon as they were born even though they were six weeks early, but that moment I wouldn’t swap for anything in the world.
The IVF rollercoaster is emotional, sometimes desperate, and unless you have ridden the IVF rollercoaster it’s impossible to explain to anybody the worry and nerves and how desperate you feel because you just want it to work. Sadly there will always be people that use that desperation to fill their pockets with money giving promises of false hope. Contrary to the report by the BBC Panorama documentary I wanted to balance out that are also good ethically run clinics out there.
Have you had any experiances of IVF clinics good or bad I would to hear your thoughts.