Would You Ever Divorce Or Disown Your Children?

Becoming a parent is without question the most wonderful thing in my opinion that can happen to you in life, holding your new born baby for the very first time is it magical and quite honestly the most emotional moment of a person’s life, well for me it was and I have been lucky enough to have experienced this five times.

Babies grow up and become toddlers and then teenagers and all along the way they will try your patience turn you grey have an opinion and will test you as a human being like nothing else in the world can.

When you have a child there are in my humble opinion a few simple things you sign up for.

1. Protect your child from harm.

2. Raise your child to the best of your ability.

3. To love your child unconditionally, after all they didn’t ask to be born you decided that with your partner, husband, wife etc

So when I hear parents say they are done with their children because they are a handful or they are in some ways curtailing their lives it incenses me, because that’s not the deal. You had a child now face the responsibility of that simple fact you have to raise them and be there for them whatever difficulties they may bring to your doorstep at whatever age.

The truth is it’s not easy it’s not meant to be to easy, it’s tough and there is no doubt that the older they get the harder it gets because you have less control over there life decisions. They are less likely to want to be advised because they are teenagers, which I remember I was once and teenagers are never wrong, are they? The truth is teenagers decisions are invariably flawed and made so often with the influence of peer pressure. Which of course we all know where that leads usually disaster. Let’s not judge their decisions because it doesn’t help what does help is listening and try to help them make a decision that’s good for them.

If I’m honest there have numerous occasions where I could of easily divorced my children, but it was only ever a spur of the moment split second thought.

I can say without any hesitation that no matter what my children land at my door I would never disown or turn my back on them whether they have got themselves in debt, drugs, alcohol, crime. I will always be there to help them. That doesn’t mean I agree with their choices, I most likely won’t and I could also be hugely disappointed, but I will be there helping to sort out the problem, they may be completely ungrateful, but hey ho! that’s kids for you.

The reason is simple I signed up to be parent which includes the good the bad and the ugly, and not having a relationship with my children even a strained one is far better than no relationship, so no matter what they do I would never divorce myself from my children, not even for a day. So when I hear parents say usually to grown -up children that’s it I’m done with you, never want to see you again as long as I live. I think really is that what you really want. This happened to me as a child my father disowned me and again in my early adulthood he decided I didn’t fit into his life, because I was too much trouble. When I look back at those days I now know I crying out for attention and help, sadly he didn’t want to know. Although it taught me a valuable lesson in life that I then reversed when it came to my children. Which is no matter what happens I will always be there for you.

Would you ever disown or divorce your children? Could they do something that would make you say that’s it I’m done. I would love to hear your thoughts.

20 thoughts on “Would You Ever Divorce Or Disown Your Children?

  1. This post really caught my eye. I was the child threatened with being disowned and so I know exactly how that feels. I think it is the worse kind of emotional abuse a parent can give. I am really really careful to ensure my boys know I will love them no matter what! A parent’s love should be unconditional.

  2. Interesting post! I wouldn’t & couldn’t! I know how it feels to have a parent turn their back on you, I’ve seen how my brother struggled being put into care at 7 because his behaviour was ‘too much’ instead of chasing the help he needed for his Aspergers diagnosis. I honestly don’t understand how anyone can divorce their children & forget about them.

  3. Interesting post! I wouldn’t & couldn’t! I know how it feels to have a parent turn their back on you, I’ve seen how my brother struggled being put into care at 7 because his behaviour was ‘too much’ instead of chasing the help he needed for his Aspergers diagnosis. I honestly don’t understand how anyone can divorce their children & forget about them.

  4. It’s interesting to read this as you might see with my last post. I linked it to #ThatFridayLinky and kind of sums up a few things for me. I just had to tell my daughter to leave our house. Not that I’m done with her, just that I can’t live with her anymore.

  5. There were many “spur of the moment split second thought” moments but I wouldn’t and couldn’t have done it. So sorry to hear that your dad turned his back on you. I pray that you heal from this hurt.

    #thatfridaylinky

  6. As an adoptive parent the concept is alien to me!! I feel incredibly lucky to have my twin boys so I can’t believe anyone could be done with their kids… although packing them off for a day or two (maybe even a week 😬) sounds ok 🤣

    #thatfridaylinky

  7. I really don’t think I ever could. Like you say as they get older you might not agree with their choices ,but I hope they would know that no matter what I’d be there for them #thatfridaylinky

  8. I can’t think of anything that would lessen my commitment to stand with my kids–even if standing with them meant saying and doing things for them that would be painful. Even if they did not appreciate it at the time. I think our calling as parents is to do weather much and to do what we believe is best in the long view.

  9. I just can’t imagine what mine could possibly do that would make me divorce or disown them. That said, they are 5 and 6 so things haven’t got worse than a handful of tantrums and some big sulky old faces. They haven’t even told me that they hate me yet!
    ….but let’s see how I feel in 10 years!
    Another great post for #thatfridaylinky

  10. When we were in the process one of the questions was “what would it take for you to “return” the child back to protective services.” I said nothing. I consider her MY child and once the adoption papers are signed we are her parents until our last day. In the good and the bad. It amazes me some people return adopted children because things get hard. Your kids are YOUR kids for life. #thatfridaylinky

  11. WOW. Thought provoking indeed, I have two children with different needs, I think there was only one time recently when I looked longingly at the door and thought of walking out never to come back, but as you say the feeling subsided and I love them more than ever.

  12. Thought provoking as ever Nige, something I could never imagine happening although i’m sure there will be challenging times ahead. #ThatFridayLinky

  13. Interesting post. Of course, I think that children should be loved and supported by their parents for life and in all that they do but what if they murder someone? Or rape? I know that will not happen but for some parents that is exactly what does happen! Would you still support a child who commits a terrible crime? We hope that by parenting our children in the best way we can, that wouldn’t happen as they would turn out ok but that would be the only thing I would have to take a moment before replying to your post. #thatfridaylinky

  14. What a beautiful post. I really enjoyed it. No I could never disown my kids. I was disowned by my family for marrying a man that didn’t approve of. It still crushes me to this day. I would never want my kids to feel that kind of sadness, pain or abandonment. #thatfridaylinky

  15. Great post Nige. As you say, kids didn’t ask to be born. It’s our responsibility to love them unconditionally. That said, it doesn’t mean it’s not hard at times! Thanks for sharing. #thatfridaylinky

  16. As a mom, I cannot ever think that my kinder could do anything that would make me turn the other cheek and cut off all communications. Truth be told, I am that kid. My parents cut me off. It’s a long story, and I should probably write about it, but we have not had contact about 18+ years. They do not know my kinder, their grandchildren. And it’s their loss… every single day. Oy… #ThatFridayLinky xoxo

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