Becoming a parent is without question the most wonderful thing in my opinion that can happen to you in life, holding your new born baby for the very first time is it magical and quite honestly the most emotional moment of a person’s life, well for me it was and I have been lucky enough to have experienced this five times.
Babies grow up and become toddlers and then teenagers and all along the way they will try your patience turn you grey have an opinion and will test you as a human being like nothing else in the world can.
When you have a child there are in my humble opinion a few simple things you sign up for.
1. Protect your child from harm.
2. Raise your child to the best of your ability.
3. To love your child unconditionally, after all they didn’t ask to be born you decided that with your partner, husband, wife etc
So when I hear parents say they are done with their children because they are a handful or they are in some ways curtailing their lives it incenses me, because that’s not the deal. You had a child now face the responsibility of that simple fact you have to raise them and be there for them whatever difficulties they may bring to your doorstep at whatever age.
The truth is it’s not easy it’s not meant to be to easy, it’s tough and there is no doubt that the older they get the harder it gets because you have less control over there life decisions. They are less likely to want to be advised because they are teenagers, which I remember I was once and teenagers are never wrong, are they? The truth is teenagers decisions are invariably flawed and made so often with the influence of peer pressure. Which of course we all know where that leads usually disaster. Let’s not judge their decisions because it doesn’t help what does help is listening and try to help them make a decision that’s good for them.
If I’m honest there have numerous occasions where I could of easily divorced my children, but it was only ever a spur of the moment split second thought.
I can say without any hesitation that no matter what my children land at my door I would never disown or turn my back on them whether they have got themselves in debt, drugs, alcohol, crime. I will always be there to help them. That doesn’t mean I agree with their choices, I most likely won’t and I could also be hugely disappointed, but I will be there helping to sort out the problem, they may be completely ungrateful, but hey ho! that’s kids for you.
The reason is simple I signed up to be parent which includes the good the bad and the ugly, and not having a relationship with my children even a strained one is far better than no relationship, so no matter what they do I would never divorce myself from my children, not even for a day. So when I hear parents say usually to grown -up children that’s it I’m done with you, never want to see you again as long as I live. I think really is that what you really want. This happened to me as a child my father disowned me and again in my early adulthood he decided I didn’t fit into his life, because I was too much trouble. When I look back at those days I now know I crying out for attention and help, sadly he didn’t want to know. Although it taught me a valuable lesson in life that I then reversed when it came to my children. Which is no matter what happens I will always be there for you.
Would you ever disown or divorce your children? Could they do something that would make you say that’s it I’m done. I would love to hear your thoughts.