[AD] Talking To My Elderly Mum About making Her Home A Safe Environment

I was recently commissioned by Premier Care in Bathing to give my thoughts on how to talk to my elderly mum about how to make her home a safe and future proofed environment. Premier Care in Bathing is one of the first ever companies to specialise in the installation of bathrooms specifically designed for customers with mobility needs. They are on a mission to encourage families to talk more openly about how to make our homes safe for older family members.

My mum is now in her twilight years and as she has become quite frail and wobbly. She is also fiercely independent and wants to continue living in her own home for as long as she can. To achieve this I have to make sure her home is a safe environment, but also make sure that any modifications or changes we make to her home she is comfortable. That’s why I decided the best way to make her home safer was to have a conversation with her. It’s a difficult subject to discuss especially with one of your parents, but it’s a vital conversation about an issue that people avoid having with elderly parents.

I started my conversation with my mum by asking her if she was happy to continue living in her home or would she prefer a sheltered home or assisted living. This was such an important starting point so that I knew exactly what she wanted and how to live her later years in life. As I have already mentioned my mum is fiercely independent and I was in no doubt she wanted to live in her home.

The fact that she wanted to continue living at her home meant that I had challenges ahead of me in making her home safe. I first of all wanted to know if there was any particular areas that she currently felt unsafe more than anywhere else in her home. My mum immediately said that the bathroom was an area that actually frightened her because of the possibility of slipping while showering. This meant that we needed to completely renovate the bathroom and turn it into a safe environment with a shower and non-slip floors to make it a very user friendly bathroom that is suitable for my elderly mum, because of poor mobility is the driving force to making the bathroom safer for her.

Another concern for my mum was when she was walking around the home. She lives in a bungalow which is great because we don’t have to worry about stairs and any possible falls, but because of her frailty she can without warning stumble and fall so we have installed rails at strategic points so if she felt that she might fall she will have something to grab and avert a fall.

Having the conversation with my mum about how and where she wanted to live in her later life initially gave me an uncomfortable feeling. It felt very strange and it actually gave me a feeling of role reversal. Life appeared to have gone full circle where as I was being looked after as a child by her, now I was looking after her in her older years. If I’m entirely honest I never thought I would I have this conservation with my mum in a million years, but once we started talking and having the discussion about safety in her home it actually got easier and she was very quick to explain her fears and worries about living at home on her own. I would now never have any hesitation in discussing any improvements we need to make to her home so she is safe.

If you have elderly parents or relatives I would highly recommend you have a discussion about safety in their home. You might be surprised how quickly they want this discussion so they are safe in their home. It’s a discussion that everybody should have with their elderly relatives.

If you have had this discussion with elderly parents I would love to know how you got on in the comments below.

This is a paid collaboration.