When I was growing up I think my mother expected me to conform to what is considered the “norm”. That being a heterosexual male mean getting married and having children. As it happens that’s how I turned out.
So my mother didn’t have to accept any different choices I may have had about my life. If I had decided that I wanted a different path in life because of her generation she would no doubt have struggled to accept it, that is if in fact she accepted it at all.
Society has moved on and we accept so many different lifestyles now, but my question is if your children grow up to choose a path that is not what is considered the “norm” how would you deal with it because I know we all say that’s fine about other people, but when it comes to our own, our own feelings may change when it’s one of our own children.
Society has moved on, being gay is no longer an issue. It’s considered as normal as a straight relationship and finally has as many rights.
Mixed race relationships are now more common and society has now accepted that you don’t have to come from the same cultural and race backgrounds to be together, but there was a time when for instance if you saw a black man and a white woman that it had numerous second glances.
Age gap relationships are now more common place and it’s nothing new to have a 20 year age gap or more, but there are many people out there that oppose it.
Transgenderism is now becoming more acceptable to society. I would imagine this has been helped by the coming out of a few major celebrities.
There are many other ways that people choose to live their lives and this must be everyone’s right.
All of these examples as little as 30 years ago would not have been accepted by people, but thankfully we have moved on. However, how much of the previous generations attitude has been passed on to the parents of today’s children?
The question I’m asking is simple. If your son or daughter comes home one day and says I’m gay, transgender, I’m in love but there’s a 25 years age gap or mum, dad meet my new boyfriend and in walks a Jamaican man or a white woman walks what would you do? What would you say? Because in that very small window of your life it could define your lifelong relationship with your child. Would you be shocked? Would you reject them? All of these questions plus many more could easily race through your mind.
The dilemma is now this is your child and do you have stereotypical ideas of how your children should live their lives this is not Johnny or Mary that live up the street so they’re somebody’s else’s problem. This is your child.
That’s the moment that should define you as a parent. After years of nurturing, helping and bringing up your children your judgement or non judgement is vital. Should you accept their decisions then the chances are you have brought your children up without any predjuices for them to be true to themselves and be happy with their choices, but should you reject their choices then there is every chance they will reject you as a parent and a wall will be built between you and them and it most likely won’t be pulled down.
I believe when your children are born there is an unconditional love for them and once they reach a certain age they will make their choices whether you think they’re right or wrong it’s their choice and they deserve your support and love not disappointment and crictism. To respect their decisions about the way they want to live their lives.
The biggest shame is there is still so much inherited attitudes about how people should conform to the “norm”. In today’s world everybody’s choice of how they wish to live their lives should be considered normal. Although I wonder if the human race is ready to accept people’s choices.
I would love to hear your views.