How To Prepare For Fatherhood
So many people focus on the Mom when it comes to the news of a new baby on the way. It makes sense: her body is the one that’ll change and the baby is coming from her body in the end. The thing is, it’s not just the mother who is affected by parenthood. She is the one who feels the feelings and deals with the nine months of side effects – but Dad feels it differently. Dad doesn’t feel the kicks on the kidneys or the nausea that comes with those early weeks of hormonal changes. Dad doesn’t feel the cravings or the back pain or the growing pains, but he does feel the worry and the fears that come with parenthood.
Most Dad’s often report the feeling of uselessness; they can’t do much but be a support, and they can’t physically pick up the slack of the pregnancy. However, from the useful gifts for new parents that come out to teach parents to dress a baby, to the fact Dad can learn how to be a supportive, interested parent, there is so much that can be done to prepare for this. Life is going to change and it will never be the same again when you have children. When there’s a little human you have built from scratch, you have to prepare for fatherhood because it’s coming whether you like it or not! The question is whether you are prepared to be there for your new baby and if you are, here are all the tips you need to prepare for fatherhood. Let’s take a look:
- Spend as much time as possible with your partner. There are a lot of things that you can’t do as a father, but you can be the best possible support for your partner. You can be there for her to listen to her fears and ease them, you can listen to her symptoms and be the person who goes to McDonalds at 3am. Life is going to be centered on the mother of your child for a while so make sure that you are as in tune with her feelings as possible.
- Do the dirty work. When the baby arrives, there will be spit up and diapers and possible poonamis that will ruin your lunch – and that’s where you muck in. Your partner has just had a baby exit her body, she’s going to be exhausted and she’s going to be cranky as a result. She will have a rush of raging hormones and she will feel like she’s been hit by a train so you have to be there. Change the diapers and get your hands dirty (and wash them) and be ready to pick up the slack.
- Nap. When your baby comes, you’re going to forget what it’s like to sleep. Switch out on naps with your partner. Let her sleep when she’s been up all night, then switch out so you can get through those early days. You can nap together while she’s pregnant and you’re not at work, but afterwards, you can nap when the baby is sleeping, too!
- Read as much as you can. Fatherhood is a minefield and you need to make sure that you are reading as much as possible about it. Women tend to do a lot of this: swallowing as much information as possible so that they can learn. You need to do the same. Read the changes you will see in your partner and one of the things you should be doing as a Dad is learning what to expect. It’s not just the parenting part, but learning how you can be there through childbirth.
- Meet new Dad friends. Preparing for fatherhood is much easier when you speak to other men who are in the same Dad boat you’re going to be in. Dads should spend more time together and you can swap advice and help each other to get through all of these changes. You can feel a lot less afraid of the way your life is going to change when you know other people are going through it, too.
- Go to parenting classes. Knowledge is power, and when you are looking at fatherhood in the face, you need to educate yourself as much as possible. Many future mothers will go to classes where they can, and you can go with her! Be enthusiastic about it and go to a parenting class or two when you are expecting a baby on the way. You’ll get new tips and hacks to help you to learn how to be a parent. There is much that will come on instinct, but you can help yourself here, too.
- Prepare for a big change. If you are at work and your partner usually picks up most of the home slack, it’s time for change. You should be picking up half the housework anyway, but you’re going to have a much happier, calmer partner if you start getting more involved with the duties around the house. There’s going to be a baby screaming at all hours of the day, but you should think about the fact that you will have a better relationship if you’re mucking in to help. Helping around the house should happen regardless – you live there, after all – but it’s something needed even more now than ever.
- Get involved in the pregnancy. Of course, you’re not a seahorse so you can’t carry the baby yourself. However, you can get involved by asking questions, and you can help her with the physical things like lifting around the house and giving massages. Get involved in the physical bits that you can do. Hold her hair during those morning sickness moments and learn all that you can about being a support in childbirth. Remember that you are going to be excited and scared, and she will be, too! Host the baby shower for her and let her know you’re there for her. It will all matter!
- Pack your own bag. As a parent, you know that your baby has a hospital bag, but you will need one for yourself as a father, too. Bring snacks and spare clothes, and you can bring a book to read when things are quieter and your partner is asleep. You need to bring energy drinks, spare change, a charger and a camera, too. You can even pack a pillow and get comfortable while you’re holding her hand. There are so many things to be prepared for and the time you spend in hospital affects you, too. You can also bring electronics like your phone and your iPad for video calls, too.
Preparing to be a father can feel like an empty hole that you jump right into and it is. Life is going to feel turbulent and turn upside down, and there is a lot that you need to do to get there and feel comfortable with your new role. However, if you are willing to work on your new role in life, you are going to gain so much more for your future, too. Being a father is going to change your life and you are going to fall in love in a whole new way. The depth of your new place in life will be an eye-opener for you, and you now know how to best prepare for fatherhood to get you started. You can do this – it’ll be a good thing in your life.
