I have been blogging for nearly four years nearly and it has become harder than ever this year to find the inspiration, desire and will at times to write.
There could be a number of reasons why this is the case, and quite possibly some of it has to be put down to an amount of ill health that I have had this year. This has put my whole life into perspective, and I now realise that family is far more important than anything else.
As such blogging has taken a back seat as I have made my recovery to full health, which has taken some time. I also don’t want to be on my phone constantly answering emails or anything blogging related.
A couple of years ago I wrote a post about how I believe the blogging world is like the four tiers of a wedding cake. At the time of writing this I believed I was somewhere between tier two and three, with little hope, I thought, of ever reaching the top tier.
I have always been driven and very competitive, and I wanted to be recognised as one of the top dad bloggers in the UK. I won’t pretend that I didn’t want to be in the top 10 dad bloggers lists such as Vuelio because I did, and I have now been in that list for the last three years, as well as achieving a top 10 spot in the parent bloggers list also by Vuelio. This is an achievement that I am immensely proud of and also this year, my blog became award winning, which is something I worked hard to achieve.
Now though I have reached my first ever massive dilemma in blogging, and for months I’ve begun to wonder if it is all worth it, staying in bloggers lists, getting good stats, promoting yourself constantly, and yes it has been worth it, especially on the monetary side of things, but it’s exhausting and it has become a chore. Blogging is no longer fun for me. Charts, stats etc. I have begun to realise they are really not that important personally, and once you have achieved it, it’s very difficult to maintain it. It’s an unnecessary pressure in life.
This has left me uninspired and lacking belief in my writing, and at a point as to where do I go next with my blog?
I never wanted to be all about sponsored work, but I have been seduced by it, and started to like the money way too much, and at the expense of writing organic, natural posts, which is why I guess people read my blog to begin with. I always felt my writing was edgy and hopefully insightful, now it feels contrived, not all the time, but a fair bit. It’s like I have found a formula for sponsored posts and can write what feels like the same post, but adjust it to a product or brand accordingly. I truly don’t know if that is a good or bad thing, but it doesn’t make me happy that’s for sure. I want to get back to where I was, but I wonder if I can. The enthusiasm is quite simply not the same, and now it’s time to decide how I evolve this blog of mine.
I guess for whatever reason, and I’m not sure if I am deserving of being in the top tier of bloggers, but I suppose I am. Do I want to be? Well yes, it’s nice being recognised as a top blogger, but it also makes me feel very uncomfortable as it’s not my natural habitat, and I don’t feel I have the right to be there, which is very much a self-esteem and confidence issue.
I am disillusioned with social media. There was a time it was friendly and fun to be on interacting with people and well, just having a laugh. Now it has become all about numbers and the promotion of your latest blog post or vlog. My timeline is only full of peoples recent collaborations, mine included. What happened to the fun on social media, the chat and the banter that was so much fun to be part of.
So this has all left me with a blogging dilemma. Something I have never felt before. Do I continue as I am, which is not what I really want, but how do I shake it up, or do I just let the blog slip into the internet wilderness?
Some people reading this may think wow what’s his problem, he is doing ok, and yes you would be right I am doing ok, but I’m not particularly happy with the direction my blog is taking.
I have a decision to make about the future of my blog and what will make me happy in the blogosphere, or perhaps not to be a part of the blogosphere. That is the question.
Do you ever have a moment when blogging just seems like too much effort? I would love to hear.