Today is the first day of school for 2019 and we will all arrive on the school playground looking knackered, exhausted and totally dishevelled, with a total urgency to give our children away for the day and breathe again after the excitement and absolutely exhausting time of Christmas where we have had the joy of melt-downs and arguments between our children. Christmas is lots of fun no doubt, but jeez once a year is more than enough haha!
Being a part-time stay at home dad means that I have the pleasure of doing the school run two to three days a week so when I arrive on the playground it never ceases to amaze me the different types of people standing there waiting impatiently to hand over their kids. So here are a few types of people I see every morning.
1. Lycra Mummy
The new uniform of the mum that is either going to the gym or on a run with their hair in a ponytail. She is usually seen running on the spot, limbering up the muscles so she can go straight off for a work-out once the kids disappear through the doors, or actually just wants everybody to believe that she is a regular gym member or goes on 10k runs everyday. Which one is it? Lycra mummy is now in every corner of the playground! Oh yes! My wife is actually a fully paid up member of this club, or as she says not going anywhere unless I’m in my active wear! Lycra forever.
2. Lycra Daddy
Most lycra mummy’s will look fit and well toned in lycra, but lycra daddy? OMG! What possesses a man to wear lycra? It seriously is not a good look, bits and pieces sticking out everywhere and it is not even 9 o’clock! Please if you are a lycra daddy please refrain from going on the school run in your active wear. Wait until you get home to change into your lycra for the gym.
3. The Mum Huddle
This is an exclusive mums club. A group of mums in a circle chatting and talking about anything and everything and have you ever tried to break into that circle? Their arms are linked like a chain and it becomes like a fortress that Spartans would be proud of. Then as the kids disappear into school the huddle moves like a rugby ruck to outside the school gates and they can still be found there at 9.30am. My goodness go home or to work!
4. The Glam Mummy
Yes it’s the mum that can’t leave for the school playground until she has decided what to wear, washed her hair, got the make-up just right and is wearing high heels that quite honestly would give me vertigo. You are taking the kids to school not going for a night out in town! Amazingly you hear them long before you see them as the sound of the heels echoes from outside the school gates all the way to the playground.
5. The Grandparents
The fastest growing inhabitants of the school playground are the grandparents. They’re very easy to spot because they are very tired looking, pushing a pram and usually telling everybody about how they have done this years ago, so surely it’s time I had a lay-in, but no the grandchildren were dropped off at 6am for the day and they are telling everybody I’m already knackered for the day. Roll on 6pm they can have nap or go to bed.
6. The Lone Dad
Haha! That’s me! Yes, I am the lone dad that has a job to do. To deliver my children to their teacher. I will pleasantly acknowledge other mums and dads with a nod or even possibly speak and say hello. I guess I’m on the border of being anti-social, but jeez, it’s early and I haven’t woken up! My brain is not working properly. I may look like I’m deep in thought, but believe me there is a blank space where my brain is with very little or zero activity.
7. The PTA Parent
We all know these parents don’t we! It’s that parent that is always on the playground with a stance of authority and importance, sometimes even holding a clipboard or the very least an envelope for collecting money for this, that or the other. Yes they are the parents that get a reserved seat at the nativity play while the rest of us queue from 6am to find a seat with luck in the third row! They always know everything that is going on, about when the next school trip is going to take place, and they always bring everything in on time. Reading bags are never late. So when you are in doubt just ask a PTA parent as they are the fountain of knowledge on the school playground, because after all it’s their school.
The school playground is a place where life is possibly at its finest or not. Most often it’s a whirlpool of parents talking, waiting just to get rid of their kids for the day, to feel what it was like pre-children when you didn’t have to stand in a playground in all weathers waiting for the teachers to finish their coffee (which reminds me how long does it take teachers to drink a cup of coffee). Finally from the door comes the teacher to come and get your children to educate them.
Do you do the school run? Are you any of the above type of parent? Or would you consider yourself another type? I would love to hear in the comments below.
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