Starting Full-Time school (My Twins) 

My twin girls are now in their third full week of big school and it has been a little bit of a rollercoaster ride.

As a parent it’s difficult to be hard, or at least I find it difficult. All of my children will tell you I’m a soft touch and will most of the time give into my children’s requests or demands, but of course school is very different.

Trying to explain to a four year old that there’s no choice in attending school five days a week is very difficult. After all for the last four years they have spent lots of time with mummy and daddy, and other than just two and a half hours at nursery, and nursery is after all just a long playtime.

When the girls started school a few weeks ago both were fine and they were excited, and very willing to attend school for the first ten days without issue.

On the second weekend it started to change for one of our girls. R was beginning to question why she had to go everyday and why it was such a long day. The reality of full-time school had hit home, and the occasional throw away comment like, ‘I don’t want to go to school’ started to creep in, in addition to, ‘why do I have to have lunch in school?’ It was beginning to make us wonder what was going through her mind.

You always think the worst and that’s just a natural human instinct, but in truth it’s nearly always something insignificant. However as adults we have a wonderful ability to blow it all out of porportion.

Thinking what is going on in school and you begin to dread taking them to school.

This finally culminated in a terrible Sunday night at bedtime. R knew the next day was a school day, and as she was about to go to sleep she started to get upset. My wife held and cuddled her while she was sobbing uncontrollably and constantly repeating that she didn’t want to go to school. I have to admit it was a bit of a shock and incredibly upsetting, but she did finally go to sleep. This actually played on my mind all night and I had a very restless nights sleep waking on a regular basis.

The following morning  my wife went to work and I was left to take the girls to school on my own as is the case every week on a Monday and Tuesday. Everything  was fine, but then all of a sudden R just started getting upset and saying that she really didn’t want to go to school. It was a very difficult moment to deal with.

At this point it would have been so easy to say ok let’s stay home ,but the truth is you can’t. They have to go to school and backing down at that moment will give you a huge long term problem, so after a while and after a lot of persuasion we went to school and both the girls went in without a hitch.

The whole of that week was difficult. It was very up and down with both of the girls. R was definitely getting more upset, having a dropped lip and eyes welling up, which was sending both my wife and myself on a rollercoaster of emotion.

What has changed in R? Has anything happened in school that has put her off? She does have a habit of overthinking things and that in itself could be causing a problem.

M on the other hand is easily distracted and just gets on with it. Hopefully they will look after each other. At least that’s what you hope for.

We are expecting some more problems as the girls come to terms with school and we have to deal with that moment when one of the girls is ill and the other one has to go to school on their own. This will without question be difficult because the girls have never really been apart. Oh the joys of twins!

We have talked about it to them and they listened, but if they understood and took it in, well only time will tell. Being four year old twins and never being apart from each other definitely has a few downsides and this moment could be one of them.

These first few weeks have made me question whether we send our children to school too young. I know it’s always been the case that children start the September after their fourth birthday, but in reality are they emotionally capable and understanding of what school is, to be ready to attend full days? I actually don’t think so.

UPDATE 

After writing this we saw a change in R. Here’s what happened…

We had a chat to her to try and possibly find out what bothers her about school. She consistently said the toys are boring during her free time, when not doing something academic. So we both came to the conclusion that R loves to learn and she needs to be challenged. We spoke to the teacher and she is giving her more learning activities and consequently R is much happier going to school and comes out in a much more buoyant mood at the end of the day. R loves to tell us what letter she has learnt that day.

Yesterday morning I was sitting on the sofa with girls just before their breakfast and R said, dad do you know my favourite time in school? I replied, no, when is that and she replied after lunch because we get to go home soon!

I believe in these situations that we can be blinded by all the negative things that a four year old can say about school and yes it’s heartbreaking to watch your child get upset, but by turning it on it’s head I focused on the positives of learning. That learning is fun and a little chat with her teacher as to the best way forward has worked for us. It was difficult to work out because a four year old is simply not articulate enough to explain. So as a parent you have to listen and piece it together like a jigsaw.

Have we solved it? Who knows time will tell.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences of your children starting school.