6 Tips For Men To Gain An Emotional Balance
You may have heard the term, ‘better out than in.’ This old folk wisdom applies rather aptly to emotions, especially for men. Of course, this advice runs contrary to the traditional manly instincts, but that doesn’t make it false. Emotional imbalance can induce irritability, loss of sexual desire and insomnia.
Men are subtly taught from a young age that emotional displays are unmanly, especially if they involve waterworks. Society reinforces this teaching by rewarding, even exalting, men that push away their feelings and continue to perform superbly in the heat of the moment. Wrestlers, sports stars, firefighters, soldiers –all are expected to ignore personal fears, pain and insecurities to focus on the goal at hand.
Hollywood promotes a culture that glorifies superheroes, super spies and warriors kings that are super buff and always ready to go against adversity and win.
Hard vs Soft emotions
Truthfully, it would be wrong to say men ignore emotions completely. Society actively encourages men to focus on the hard emotions, like anger, pride, loyalty and honour. However, softer emotions, like fear, pain, and uncertainty, belong to the women’s domain.
We’ve failed to consider that it is a technique used for a particular purpose, not a universal strategy.
6 tips to expressing yourself
- Make a choice
Men not used to experiencing their emotions will feel uncomfortable and overwhelming when suddenly asked to express them. Some feelings may even feel alien and may scare you away. However, you need to make a choice. Do you wish to face your inner demons or let them fester? If your answer is yes, then be brave and ask for help. You can work with a therapist, join a support group or ask a friend for assistance. You can also start keeping a journal to record your thoughts. Accept that you want help and stick with your choice. Let the floodgates open; only then will you feel complete.
2. Calm down
Feeling emotions doesn’t have to make you feel panicky or wanting to get it over with. When the time comes to let the floodgates open, you should calmly sit down. Turn off any distractions, like screens or speakers. Close the windows and find a quiet place to sit down. It would be better not to do this in your car or the train. Try to keep the fidgeting, tapping, clicking or shuffling to a minimum. Now, you can let yourself go.
3. Connect with your body
Emotions are connected to the body. You;
- shuffle your feet or wring your fingers when feeling awkward or embarrassed.
- smile and relax your posture when meeting a friend.
- tense your jaw or grind your teeth when feeling angry or frustrated.
Your objective is to become more aware of how your body responds to specific emotions. Start naming these sensations as you feel them.
4. Learn to identify the basic emotions
Anger, fear, shame, joy and sadness are the five basic emotions. While there are countless more emotions, these five are a good starting point when you begin your foray into emotional awareness and balance. Learn to recognise these emotions and identify how your body responds to them.
5. Speak your thoughts out loud
It is an instinctive reaction for many men to push down the feelings and shutting them off. However, you should realise it is not wrong to feel overwhelmed or scared. Forgive yourself for being only human. This exercise allows you to acknowledge a feeling and move past it. Speaking out loud that you are afraid or respect someone will let you become a better person.
6. Accept your emotions
Feelings are neither good nor bad; they just are. Acknowledge their existence. You cannot live without them because you are not an android; you are human. Accept that you can be the all-powerful, stoic, manly man despite having softer emotions.
