A dysfunctional family

I have very few memories of early childhood, but of the memories that I do have most are very unpleasant.

My father was an alcoholic and violent. It also appears that he was unfaithful to my mother constantly.

On one particular holiday I remember that he got extremely drunk and frightened me and my sister in the hotel room. My brother then hit him which was one of the better days!

Eventually my parents marriage came to an end. I was eight years old and in hindsight this was a blessing because we were living in a very unhappy home.

This was also the start of a massive destruction of a family. The family I was born into was never going to be same again!

Over the years I have been tormented, annoyed and frustrated about how little blood related family members care about each other. It’s incredible that two people’s inability to get on altered three other people’s lives most likely forever.

By the time I was ten my older brother had left home and my sister was all but gone. She stayed at her boyfriends house a lot and I soon realised why. It was because it was a normal family house.

I have to say in defence of my brother he did try to hold things together for a while, but like most human beings he got selfish and left.

By the time I was 11 I was living on my own with my mum. This was ok other than the fact that she was severely depressed and rarely got out of bed. By the the time I was 12 I’d witnessed numerous suicide attempts and she became very ill. She had a major operation and I was left to look after her which meant that I missed going to school a lot.

I quickly became self sufficient though. Cooking for my mum and I became second nature. I will admit that I was angry with my brother and sister because they had done a runner and left me to deal with the fallout.

Anyway moving onto adult life now and the eventual outcome of two people’s marriage not working.

My brother and sister do not speak or have contact with there mother.

My brother does not speak to his father.

My sister I believe has some contact with her father.

My brother and sister have no contact with each other whatsoever.

As for me my father will go to his grave before I speak to him again.

For many years I had no contact with my brother and sister, but recently I made the move to speak to them again. I do wonder though if I hadn’t made contact with them would they ever have bothered to get in touch with me? I doubt it.

My mum has no contact with five of her grandchildren and one great-grand child.

My sister is nice and I believe it will never be anymore than the occasional text every few weeks, but that suits me to be honest..

Throughout my life I have to say that with all her faults (and let’s face it we’ve all got those family memebers) my mum has been the most stable and reassuring person in my life. She’s always been my rock.

So as dysfunctional as this family may be, some good has come from it. I have a very good relationship with my mum who is 86 now and I cherish the few years she may have left.

I am left to wonder had my parents stayed together what our family would be like now!