Brilliant dad feature Week 89 

This week our brilliant dad feature is Mark. He is 32 years old and is a system analyst from the UK. He lives with his partner Kathryn and their daughter Evelyn. He blogs at The  Honest Father . He started his blog to document his family memories.

Thank you to mark for taking part.

1. Have you always wanted to be a dad?

Actually, yes. I’ve always found it easy to play with relatives’ and friends’ children and I seem to be able to make them laugh. I did not, however, anticipate becoming a father when I did. Thinking back, when WOULD have been the right time though? I’m glad it happened when it did – I had plans of being more financial stable, having my career sorted and travelling more but time passes too quickly. Fatherhood is something I did not want to miss out on.

2. How did you feel when your children were born?

I had mixed feelings when Evelyn was born. Don’t get me wrong, none of them were bad! I felt love, obviously, but not in the way I expected. I felt a deep-down urge to wrap her up warm and protect her, and I loved her, but I wouldn’t say I actually fell in love with her instantly – for that it takes time and getting to know them. I also felt an overwhelming fear of everything. It sounds strange but at that moment I was so scared of death – of leaving her. I was afraid of losing my job, of not being able to provide. I imagine these are normal fears (right?!).

3. What have been your most rewarding experiences so far as a dad?

This is a tough one. I would love to say something normal like “when she took her first steps” or “when she first said ‘dada'”, but for some reason one moment sticks out more than any more. I was walking through the park with her, we were on our way to feed the ducks. She looked towards me and reached up to hold my hand. We were on a wide path with no one else around, there was no need for her to do this other than the fact she wanted to hold my hand. I melt every time I think of this moment, I’ll tell her about it when she’s older and how it affected me.

4. What are some of funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?

I would have to say the public cries of “I NEED A POO”, or her actually standing and taking a leak right in the middle of Costco! Typical dad remembering the toilet humour but it really tickled me. Her mum wasn’t so pleased in Costco though!

5. Have there been any situations with your children that you have found difficult to cope with?

Evelyn was throwing a tantrum one time. A particularly bad one, she would not be reasoned with and she was just shouting over everything. I lost my cool and shouted at her – she stopped shouting and looked to the floor. It broke my heart and there are still times where that memory will enter my mind at random and I have to go and cuddle her.
The lack of sleep bothers me too. Evelyn is very much a daddy’s girl and she will cry out for me in the night, so my fiancé gets to sleep all the night through when I have to get up for Evelyn. This is nice, but the lack of sleep affects me a times. I suppose that’s a lesson in habits though, something that’s down to us as parents to fix!

6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?

It’s funny – before having children I was always thinking “Oh maybe they’ll be a doctor, or a scientist!”. I was always strong with science and maths so I always envisioned my children being the same. Now that I’m a father I will 100% back Evelyn in whatever she wanted to do. I genuinely just want her to be happy in what she does and lead the most fulfilling life she can lead – that’s what’s most important to me and that’s my dream for her.