This week our brilliant dad is David from South Yorkshire. He is 29 and a Dad of 3! The girls are 10 and 11 and his little boy is 3. The girls are generally at school, his wife is at work which leaves him and his boy plenty of time for mischief! Thank you to David for taking part and you can find His Blog here Dad V World.
1. Have you always wanted to a dad?
Good question to start off with. I think I’ve always seen a future where me and my son where watching Everton FC at Goodison Park, but the reality of actually having children was always a pretty scary thought. I always knew when the day came and having a child was a reality I wanted to be ready and have all the selfish things young people do out of my system so I could focus completely on being the best Dad I could be. Up until I met my now wife, when I was 25 I was very much an independent guy who loved having a few beers with the lads, playing football and generally muddling through life. When my wife and I met she came nicely packaged with 2 daughters at 6 and 7, I felt ready and dived straight in at the deep end!
2. How did you feel when your children were born?
The girls were already included when I met Donetta my wife. I think having step children is a whole different ball game. When I was first introduced to the girls I just wanted to make sure I made a good impression, they were still very young so didn’t really understand too much of what was going on. I just wanted to be a friend to begin with really, an adult figure but a little more laid back than a parent.
When my son was born my entire brain had an overhaul and my heart sent feelings flooding through my body like I’d never had before! I was present for the birth and it was truly the best experience any person can ever be a part of. It’s something you would genuinely not swap for anything ever! I think the preparation I had done before having kids, ie: telling myself when the time came I was going to do it right, all kicked at this very moment. Since Corben arrived I have Daddy superpowers, I have massively heightened emotions and after giving up alcohol in support of Donetta throughout the pregnancy, 3 years on I can count on 1 hand the amount of occasions I’ve bothered to get drunk! I am very much an improved version of myself all because of this one moment.
3. What have been your most rewarding experiances as a dad so far?
The most rewarding moments for me happen every single day. To see all 3 children’s progression is amazing. The eldest daughter Kiera is now in high school and is ridiculously smart! Daughter No.2 Abi is constantly praised by everyone who knows her including school for how bubbly, kind and loving she is, sometimes too much…. Almost suffocated Corben as a baby by cuddles! Corben is 3-years-old and has fantastic manners and a very strong willed character, the boy knows exactly what he wants. I’m rewarded daily!
4. What are some of the funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?
We tend to laugh quite a lot, usually at each other. all 5 of us are pretty big characters so there’s plenty of humour and sarcasm thrown around. Funny moments that spring to mind specifically…. Ah yes, now I must mention, the odd swear word does escape our mouths now and again, nothing too vicious though. Corben woke up the other morning stood up on our bed between Donetta and I and started saying ‘Mummy, Daddy I’ve pissed the bed’ Shocked and trying not to laugh I said ‘You mean you’ve wee’d’, he replied, ‘No Daddy, I’ve pissed the bed’. It shouldn’t be funny, but it absolutely was! He’s not said it since as we obviously did the right thing and basically ignored it so he didn’t think it was a real turn of phrase.
5. Have there been any situations that you with your children that you have found difficult to cope with?
When Corben was only 1 he did get very ill and was in hospital for several weeks. It was the hardest time of my life and I’d not wish that experience on my worst enemy. Having said that, throughout that period it showed the real strength in character that our family has. It showed the support network we have as a family as in, Grandparents, Aunties and friends is unbelievable. The fact that we are able to take soo many positives from such a severely bad experience also shows the mentality we have and it has made us unbreakable.
Less of the doom and gloom, other than that I actually find parenting relatively easy. The cliches you hear when people find out your having a child aren’t always right. ‘You’ll never sleep again, you’ve got all this to come, you won’t know what’s hit you’ etc etc….. Yes parenting is hard work, yes it’s tiring but would any parent change that in place of how rewarding parenting is when you’re literally building a person, NO they wouldn’t. I think a few ‘testing’ times are on their way, from a Dad’s point of view I’m thinking about Kiera being in high school now, there are also boys in her school, you see where I’m going with this.
6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?
Plainly and simply, happiness. Of course if they can become the teachers, doctors or football players they desire to be then that’s fantastic, but aslong as they look back at their life when they’re a little older and know that my wife and I did the very best we could and they’re happy with wherever they’re at in their life then I will have done my job. I try not to think about where I’d like them to be and what I’d like them to do because I believe my job is to give them the tools to become strong, motivated happy individuals and it’s completely up to them which path they want to take in life when the time comes. In football terms, I’ll put the crosses in, it’s up to them to finish it off.