Dads and Playgroups.
In the month of December I attended a playgroup with our twin girls and my wife on a few Wednesday afternoons.
To say the experience was interesting was an understatement. I had been to playgroups before with the twins and my wife about a year ago and always felt I was being stared at because I was probably the only dad in a mum dominated world meaning I never felt comfortable. I felt at times I should check to see if I had two heads. It was like I was planning an assault on mums world! You cannot and will not invade! You are a dad!
This playgroup was considerably smaller and not busy. Thankfully I knew two of the mums as they are friends of ours and I knew one of ladies that organise the playgroup, but still some mums would look at me with an expression of what’s he doing here.
I am a stay at home dad part of the week and would love to go to a playgroup on my own with the girls, but in all honesty the thought of this frightens the hell out of me, so I know it won’t be happening anytime soon.
In our society of change and acceptance how is it that playgroup is the sole right of mums? Let’s be fair if there was just one more dad at the playgroup that’s who I would end up talking to. Some things really don’t change and I believe this is one of them.
Would love to know what you think.
9 Comments
shoeboxfullofmemories
January 8, 2016 at 7:53 am
I know the feeling! I just charge in, smile at people, say hi and talk to and play with the kids there. Most Mums are happy to talk to you if you ask about their kids and swap horror stories and tips.
orana velarde
January 9, 2016 at 6:39 pm
this sucks. I hate that you have to feel that way. It makes me sad. I do agree with shoeboxfullofmemories and that you could just talk to them but I also know that it's not easy. Smalltalk is so hard. #justanotherlinky
Rebecca Roversi
January 9, 2016 at 9:49 pm
The titles of this post got my attention because, as a regular playgroup attending mum, I rarely see dads but it's so lovely when I do! Hope you find a group you feel comfortable at soon, if not make forts in the living room – who needs them! ☺️ #justanotherlinky
Jeremy Barnes
January 13, 2016 at 1:33 pm
we don't have these organized playgroups over here, but there are a fair amount of dads at preschool drop off. I wonder if they would go to something like this or if they would all assume they would be the only guy there
Sarah Howe
January 13, 2016 at 2:08 pm
I can't believe this Nigel…really surprised. I know a lot of Dad's pick their children up from the grem's nursery so I wouldn't bat an eyelid. I'm sorry you feel like that…maybe as orana says start up some from chat and see where it goes xx Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst and see you soon xx
thebutterflymother
January 14, 2016 at 7:43 am
I'm so sorry you've felt uncomfortable at playgroups 🙁 It must be more difficult for dads. There is usually at least one dad at the toddler groups I attend and I always make a point of engaging with him coz I appreciate it can be a little intimidating. Have you tried the structured classes instead of informal groups? Like Talking Tots, Jo Jingles, Hartbeeps etc? I find it much easier at things like this with a specific, led activity than just general hang out type groups. Thanks for sharing #bestandworst
Something Crunchy Mummy
January 14, 2016 at 7:51 pm
I honestly admire dads who take the time to take their children to playgroups! I can't believe people would make you feel like that, it's awful and this shouldn't be around! #bestandworst xx
Something Crunchy Mummy
January 15, 2016 at 8:16 pm
Popping back from #justanotherlinky. Thanks girl linking up xx
Steve
March 4, 2017 at 9:35 pm
I take my 2 year old daughter to a group on Fridays..I must say I find most of the mums are very friendly and I do have a decent chat with some of them. Some keep themselves to themselves but that’s fine by me. I am the only dad at the group but it doesn’t bother me that I am- I’m there for my daughter’s benefit to be fair and it’s great for me to see her playing and interacting with other children. I’m a SAHD and have been for nearly 2 years after redundancy and although my role has changed I’m privileged to be spending this time with my little girl.