Danger and having no fear with children
Fear and danger in small children are in my opinion so very closely linked.
Our twin girls are four years old and over the last six months I have noticed that they are beginning to take risks albeit only small risks. Of course they have to start taking risks otherwise they will never learn anything and we can’t keep them in a bubble forever, but the issue is that they have no fear so they have no comprehension of what is dangerous.
This is a learning process that will take many years to develop and only they can learn through their experiences.
When we approach a road to cross with the girls we go through the ritual of look left, look right etc and of course it’s a given that you continue to do this so that they learn to be careful when crossing the road, but the truth of this is that their memory retention is still developing, and the chances are they will have forgotten some or all of what we have just said 10 minutes ago, but that doesn’t mean you should stop saying it and going through the same ritual.
Of course we could be very dramatic and describe that if a car hits you, you will be smashed into little pieces and most likely dead, but what would be the point at four years of age? They have no idea what dead means!
It’s important in my opinion to keep going through the ritual so it’s second nature.
Recently on another occasion on our summer holiday we were all by the pool and all of a sudden M jumped into the pool from the edge, which I of course have no problem with. The water is not going to hurt her, but what was so very obvious and what she didn’t realise is that you can’t stand too far back from the edge of the pool because you might bang your head on the side of pool when you jump in.
These couple of examples I can see because I have experienced danger and fear and hopefully see if an accident might happen before it does, but at four years of age they simply have no idea, and what’s the point in shouting at them to not to do that, which I might see on a regular basis wherever I go because they will still continue to behave in a totally fearless fashion. It’s an education in process and it will take many years to achieve safety for them because until they have faced fear or danger they can’t decide when it’s dangerous or it’s something to fear or both as I feel both are closely linked.
