Life Changing Moments

1. My father leaving the family home when I was eight years old because no matter what happened I was going to be a better father to my children simply because I didn’t want them to grow up without a dad as I had done in my childhood and not be anything like my own father.

2. Going to Australia at 17 years of age to broaden my horizons. It made me stand on my own two feet without my mother being there to pick up the pieces after me. It helped me to have respect for different types of people from all over the world, but it taught me that Cardiff, Wales was my home and where I belonged and where I wanted to live.

3. Having all my children has taught me the pure love and joy that only becoming a dad can do. It’s made me realise that when being a parent there is no place for selfishness. You have different responsibilities and that no matter what, you need to always be there for your children for advice, help and of course a free taxi service!

4. Being in an unhappy marriage taught me that you need to be strong, stand up and say what you know is wrong and say this needs to end no matter what the cost and stand by your decision because being unhappy and sad makes you ill, but you must stay strong for your children. It changed me to never retreat from doing what you know is the right decision. 

5. During the breakdown of my first marriage I suffered from depression. This was because I was very unhappy and sad and I got to like alcohol far to much so after about six months I changed my ways and got a grip on the situation I was in. This totally lifted my mood and happiness started to fill my heart again. I gave up alcohol as this alters the person you are and changes your perception of life and I wanted to be me again. Plus I wanted my children to look up to me, not see me as a waster.

6. After the breakdown of my first marriage I found myself in a lot of debt and I was definitely burying my head in the sand. I was ignoring letters, phone calls etc, but I’ve managed to change that and many years later I am now debt free or at least very nearly! I found it is so important to face the debt problem head on and deal with it. 

7. Then a once in a lifetime chance meeting. That heart stopping moment where time stands still and you hear or see nothing around you and you meet the one person that you have been searching for all your life. The love of my life, my wife. Why? Well she justs gets me. She understands what I am about and loves me for what I am. No more, no less and we still tell each other numerous times each day that we love each other, even after 10 years of being together. I believe my wife makes me whole, complete, content and has changed me to be a better person. Together we have our beautiful twins and I feel blessed to have my wife in my life and would be a lost soul without her.

8. The twins being born six weeks early brought out another part of me that I never knew existed. R was born with breathing issues. Her lungs were not fully developed, whereas M was very small, but generally quite healthy. When R was put on a ventilator after just a few hours I had to dig deep inside myself to find the strength to believe that she was going to be ok, but the nagging doubt in the back of your mind is there. That maybe she won’t make it. This taught me how so very fragile life is and it is only now that I can talk about this so honestly after three and half years that I would cry myself to sleep, struggling to look at her because I was helpless. She was my daughter and I couldn’t make her better. As a father that is the worst feeling in the world. What it changed and taught me was how fragile life is and I do my best to enjoy every moment with my children.

Although this is only a handful of moments in my life and I am sure there are many more, I believe they have shaped my life, but the truth is I have made really bad decisions in the past, but also some good decisions and I am far from perfect, but hopefully they have made me a good husband, father and a nicer person to be around and when I am no longer here people will have only nice things to say about me.