Putting My Family First And My Blog Second. It’s About Time!
I have been blogging for almost four years, and it has at times become an all-consuming hobby that became a lot more, and actually became a major part of my earnings. In the four years I have been blogging I have published 1,800 blog posts and been named in many top ten charts including the Vuelio Dad bloggers chart three years on the trot and I have even won an award. All of that, believe me, takes hard work and enormous dedication, but it also made my family at times relegated to second place and that is unacceptable I now realise.
Along the way I have discovered things about myself that some I like and some quite honestly I really don’t like. Blogging has opened many doors for me that I never thought in my wildest dreams would ever happen, but blogging brought out some character traits I never thought I had.
I have worked incredibly hard to make my blog a success and for not wanting to sound conceited or big headed I have managed to succeed. I have been rated in lists over the last three years which I never thought would ever happen once let alone three years on the trot. I have won an award, only one, but I will take that. It definitely massaged my ego for a few days and still sits proudly on my fireplace, and I would be a liar to say that when I look at it, it still gives me a buzz.
The downside of blogging at the level I have been operating at is how much it takes your attention away from what’s really important. Family, and more importantly your children.
Over the last few weeks I have cut back drastically on the amount of time I have been spending on my blog, and oh my goodness it feels good to not wake up in the morning and the first thing you reach for is your phone, and then to spend the first 30 minutes of your morning setting up the blog with promoting your latest blog post. The last few days in particular have felt as if I have had the handcuffs taken off and I just sit on the sofa with my six year old twin girls watching kids tv and having a laugh. A simple life springs to mind.
The weekend just gone has been a revelation. I have had nothing on the blog and I have hardly touched my phone other than to look what the time is.
I had definitely reached the stage where the blog was starting to run my life rather than me run the blog which is of course the way it should be. I had lost control over something that was originally a hobby. It was, and should have been something for me to do when I had five minutes to spare. The pressures of fulfilling deadlines for brands etc was becoming very time consuming and it was taking time away from what was really important in my life, family.
This was a side of me I didn’t know I had and it left a very bad taste in my mouth, that I was obsessed and addicted to my blog, and it makes me sad to say this, but I was putting everything else second to my blog. This was not me, but I allowed it to happen and I have finally realised it has not made me happy and I need to change, which I will be. It’s the little things that you begin to notice that when one of your children are talking to you and you are on your phone, because in your head you have this all important blog assignment that has to be done now, and I then realise I have not heard anything they have said, this is totally unforgivable on every level. My children deserve my time and they definitely deserve for me to listen to them, when they are asking me something.
I am of course no idiot and realise that my blog has to be in my list of priorities because quite simply it earns me very good money and after all my hard work I would be foolish to let that go. The difference now is I’m not going to let it be the top of my priorities it will just be one of them and family and time with my children will be above that.
I have over the last few weeks re-programmed myself when it comes to my phone, social media and my blog and I have learnt to put my phone down and not worry what is being said on social media, because after all, it is not real life.
The future for me now looks brighter and more importantly I know where I am going and will not allow my blog and anything associated with it take over my all my waking moments.
22 Comments
Enda Sheppard
July 30, 2018 at 4:36 pm
I knew you were prolific Nige, but not that prolific! Fair play to you for your dedication and determination. But I guess you have found a little balancing was in order! #GlobalBlogging
John Adams
July 31, 2018 at 6:32 am
Ahhh, striking that all important balance. Can’t honestly say I’ve always got it right but sometimes you simply have to take your foot off the accelerator.
Chloe
August 3, 2018 at 6:40 am
Hi, it’s all about getting the right balance in life. It’s great that you hard well deserved money but having family to time and a little me time is just as important #thatfridaylinky
David Pearson
August 3, 2018 at 7:12 am
The wok/life/family balance is something that isn’t easily mastered, irrespective of the job (or jobs) you do. I changed my approach some years ago when I realised (obvious I know) that my girls wouldn’t the little for long. So I put work and career second in terms of my priorities. I still earn a good living, but I work to live our best life and certainly don’t live to work.
#ThatLinkyFriday
Maria | passion fruit, paws and peonies
August 3, 2018 at 7:35 am
It’s so hard to keep this balance when blogging takes so much time to promote and is often associated with our passions. I have to take today off and will not be able to do much until monday – but it’s my sons 28th birthday so I’ll be making a honeycomb cheesecake and homemade ice-cream, wrapping, cleaning etc today. There is always a nagging panic that my blog will fall apart when I don’t work on social media much, but, like you, I look at the bigger picture and my loved ones come first. I do miss the simpler days of the past before mobile phones – and will always be grateful it was the era I brought my children up in xx
Jamie Beaglehole
August 3, 2018 at 8:58 am
I sympathise with the feeling of being addicted to your blog, it almost becomes part of the family routine. I’ve also found myself neglecting the kids through having to meet commercial deadlines for Daddy & Dad content – particularly in the school holidays when I’d much rather be spending time outdoors. I find when I’m selective enough with collabs it is possible to spend time with the kids and get paid (days out/hotel reviews/toy launches etc) but it’s never quite the same as a simple walk in the woods.
🙁 It’s defo okay to step back from social media – Twitter can be overwhelming often with little return on investment. I’d also say that your loyal readers would understand if you needed family time, Nige (which ironically generates more content for the blog, doesn’t it!) If you ever need to chat pls DM me X
Jamieb Xx
Megan
August 3, 2018 at 12:07 pm
Good for you! I’m glad you’re proud of what you’ve achieved with the blog – because it really is something to be proud of! – but it’s wonderfully refreshing to see someone able to take a step back, knowing what really matters to them and doing more to enjoy that part of their life.
Denise Johnson
August 3, 2018 at 1:01 pm
Great honest post and one that I can relate too. I often seem to have an all or nothing approach to life and since returning to blogging after a three-year break I am finding it hard to get the right balance. It is crazy how quickly something can take over your life but as you say, kids should, of course, come first #thatfridaylinky
Rosie
August 3, 2018 at 1:09 pm
Firstly well done on all your success so far – sounds like you’ve had an amazing journey. Secondly well done for realising before it’s too late that your family comes first. I think it’s fab you’re enjoying blogging but not at the expense of your family x #ThatFridayLinky
Wrae Sanders
August 3, 2018 at 2:48 pm
The balance can definitely be hard. I’m about to go on vacation for a week with my family in Florida. I have posts scheduled to go up, but otherwise, I’m not touching my blog. I have a graphic to put up saying I’ll be on vacation but the hard work can wait until I’m back. Kids aren’t kids forever. #thatfridaylinky
Relentlesslypurple
August 3, 2018 at 3:06 pm
Blogging is time consuming and it’s definitely tough finding the right balance. #ThatFridayLinky
My amazing ordinary world
August 3, 2018 at 4:33 pm
Congratulations on your success but also taking a step back and putting your family first. Work and family balance is a tough one to achieve. But our babies are only small for such a short time x
#thatfridaylinky
Lisa Pomerantz
August 3, 2018 at 6:30 pm
It’s always smart to not letthe tail wag the dog! Great advice here! #globalblogging xoxo
Emma McCarthy
August 3, 2018 at 10:52 pm
Congratulations on the success of your blog. It certainly sounds like all that hard work has paid off. But I do know what you mean about it eating in to your family time. I’ve been really worried about that happening as a relatively new blogger. I too have the habit of checking my phone in the morning, sorting out posts for the day and social media promotion. I saw that news story the other day which said we check our phones every 12 minutes which sounds so excessive but completely accurate. I do find myself checking my blog stats, responding to comments, replying to emails while spending time with the children. But I think it’s because I’m self employed and I don’t have much time away from the children that there is literally no other time to do the work needed to make it a success. Balancing family and a blog is very, very hard and I salute you for taking the foot off the gas. I’m trying to do the same during the day but it’s resulted in working very late nights! #thatfridaylinky
Helena
August 4, 2018 at 8:45 am
Family definitely should come first always #GlobalBlogging
Dad
August 4, 2018 at 11:54 am
Spot on. For me blogging is a hobby and family must come first. Well done recognising the issue and taking steps to resolve it! Nothing beats family time.
Heather Keet
August 4, 2018 at 12:12 pm
Always put family first! The blog can’t change your diapers when you get old 😉
#GlobalBlogging
Richard Berks
August 4, 2018 at 1:28 pm
great post Nigel. Though I’m nowhere near as prolific (or successful!) as you are, this is something I’ve been thinking about recently too. At one point i’ve been considering packing it all in – if I can’t devote the time to it that I feel I need to, what’s the point? But then I do enjoy writing, so there has to be a middle way – finding the time, but not letting it take more time than it really deserves. At the end of it – family and relationships is what matters most.
Lisa Pomerantz
August 4, 2018 at 9:06 pm
Back for another read, this time from your linky, Nige! #thatfridaylinky xo
Mummy here and there
August 5, 2018 at 5:07 pm
It is a constant battle to get that balance but sounds you like you are doing something constructive and that works with you and your family X #thatfridaylinky
Musings of a tired mummy…zzz…
August 9, 2018 at 8:05 am
It does take over, doesn’t it?! I’m glad you have made changes which are making you and your family happier and I will certainly try to not let my blog take over my life! #thatfridaylinky
MomOfTwoLittleGirls
August 9, 2018 at 9:18 pm
I think it’s all about balance. Blogging becomes an obsession. We all need a little perspective sometimes.
#thatfridaylinky