Talking periods, sex and pregnancy with my daughters

Of course I could have given them the sugar coated version of periods and by that I mean those incredible adverts on television that of course nothing should stop you going para-gliding, rock climbing or tomb-stoning, not even a period! We have all seen those adverts that women just carry on with their extreme sports whilst having a period, ignoring the fact that women, not all I admit, get headaches, stomach pains and other symptoms. 

So when my older daughters started talking to me in their early teens I never had any hesitation in explaining what periods were and how often it would happen. I’d explain that it is just a part of life and they undoubtedly have some side effects which are not pleasant. I always felt it was important because the education system just doesn’t do enough to educate young ladies about personal issues through the current schooling system. 

Sex was an issue that I never had any problem discussing because the more knowledge you have the better. The truth is nobody is going to stop your children having sex for the first time that’s going to happen, but what you can do as I did was explain all the possible consequences of sex and how you can avoid so many issues that may arise. 

I have never held back in talking in plain simple english that this or the other could happen and from when I felt they could understand and retain the information. 

Both of my oldest daughters I took to the doctors to be prescribed the pill you may ask why but the truth is they asked me to take them which was quite a compliment on the open relationship that I had with them. 

Even though they may have been or not in a relationship the pill is obviously a proven prevention of pregnancy, but of course it doesn’t protect you against numerous other things, the biggest being sexually transmitted diseases. 

I remember very clearly that conversation with both my older daughters that they must always use protection and I also remember if you sleep with somebody and you have not used protection you will be sleeping with everybody they have slept with putting yourself at risk of numerous STI’s. Of course the pill can be affected by many outside influences such as anti-biotics, consequently using a condom is protecting yourself always. 

I have on occasion brought pregnancy tests for them because they have missed a period. It never fazed me to buy them if it gave them peace of mind. It always gave me a good feeling that they were comfortable asking me to help in such a personal matter, and you should be there with the right advice and practical help because they have asked you as a parent and they trust your judgement and advice. 

I lost count how many times over the years I spoke and advised my oldest daughters about the risks of sex. You won’t stop them, but at least you can arm them with all the information. Once they turn 16 you have lost control over that part of their lives, and you have to trust that they are sensible and have all the nessecary information to make the right decision. 

My other two daughters are four year old twins so I was thinking when would I consider it the right time to discuss it. It will be a while yet because I certaintly don’t want to take their innonence away, but on the other hand they will need to be prepared for those difficult teenage years. Where decisions they make,sometimes on the spur of the moment can have lifelong consequences.

In our ever increasing rapid moving society as a father I feel the need to be open-minded and have an ability to listen to my daughters, as well as my son. The days are gone that girls only go to their mums. They can actually go to their dads and the advice on such personal issues can be just as helpful and hopefully give some good advice.