The Importance Of Having A Dad in Your life

When I was eight years old my father left the family home and I was left to be raised by my mum. It is only now after many years and after having five children of my own that I have realised how important it is to have not only a mum, but also a dad in your life. When you’re a child and growing up, quite simply the dynamics of growing up require both parents to influence how you will grow up and impact on many decisions you make in life.

After my father left the family home he also left his children. The contact I had with my father after the age of eight years old was sporadic at best and this consequently left me without a male influence in my life.

Has this affected me?

If I’m honest, for a long time it did, and more importantly when I became a father myself I had no memories of my father or at least good ones to draw upon, so it was very much make it up as I go along and hopefully I can get it right. However, sometimes instinct alone is not always enough. It would have been nice to turn around to my dad and say well what do I do in this situation etc, how do I deal with this that or the other.

Thankfully nowadays dads are playing a more hands on role in parenting by sharing the enormous workload that goes with raising children. This is something I have most certainly been doing myself over the last 23 years. I have always been actively involved in all of my children’s activities.

I have felt it’s very important that all of my children have a male role model in their lives, which is something I never had, but I wanted my son and especially my daughters to see how life is through a dads eyes because I genuinely believe mums and dads see life totally differently. To have a dads perspective on life can only enhance their lives.

Growing up without a father in my life definitely left me at a disadvantage. I had to shape myself as a father, I had to make decisions about what a father does in certain situations without any knowledge or any guidance or experiences of my own father in similar situations. This is itself is very difficult, especially when you couple this with my own insecurities and lack of self belief it would often lead to disaster.

In some ways I was a blank canvas, a father in the making, but of my own making. It took me many years before I become confident in my role as a dad, before I actually believed that the decisions I made as a father were the right ones.

For me I believe it’s important to have a father in your life growing up and into adulthood which I am for my children.

Do you think it’s important to have a dad in your life? I would love to hear.