Your children are only on loan

My first born is now 20 years old and when she was about 18 months old she would wait by the front door for me to come home from work to walk around the street in any weather. Now like a lightening bolt I have understood what my mum meant, because that feels like yesterday. 

Your children really are only on loan. Now that my older children are 20,18 and 17 their lives are changing and moving in different directions and are they’re less reliant on their dad and that is understandable. They have jobs or are at university, having relationships and this consequently means I get to see them less because they have so many other things going on in their lives. I hear their tales of their nights out and rowdy drunken behaviour, only joking! 

The big question for me is did I miss out on anything while they were growing up? Of course I did! Yes I went to parents evenings, sports days and was always heavily involved in anything they parcipated in outside of school, but time and life has a habit of running away from you and of course working to help support the family always has a bearing on your available time. However I always did my best to be there for all the important occasions. 

What have I learnt? WellI, I have been very fortunate to have married the love of my life and very blessed to have four year old twins together and this was where I wanted to approach parenting differently. I don’t want to miss anything. I have fundamentally changed my work schedule through circumstances of my wife working two days a week and it has enabled me to be a stay at home dad two days a week and I love it being with our twin girls taking them to nursery and spending time just me and them. I go to all the parties that they are invited to and I have been to playgroups. Why you may ask? It’s really simple. This September they start school full-time and this is the start of their independence from their parents. 

It’s a very gradual process and at the moment they are definitly reliant on us 24/7, but over the next few years they will start to flutter their wings and start to have a small amount of independence. By the time they finish junior school there is every chance they may have had a sleepover with friends. 

As they enter high school their wings of independence really will be working hard, no longer will we be needed to take them to school unless of course it’s raining then we have a use. Ha !ha! 

By the time they are in their mid teens everything changes. From parties and staying over their friends houses, and just gradually using their wings to fly into adulthood. 

This must seem like a long time, but believe I cannot work out where 20 years has gone. It really has disappeared in a flash.

All those years ago what my mother said I believe to be true. Your children are truly 

just on loan until. They forged out their own lives in the world. I will enjoy every moment that I can with my four year old twin girls because I have finally realised from watching my older children that your children grow up very quickly and flee the nest.

Yes they may need you now and again, usually for money or advice or maybe just a cuddle,but it will never be the same as when they are little ones. It’s a magical time don’t waste it!