Children are a blessing like no other, but that doesn’t make the parenting journey any easier. Our little ones do not come with a manual and a lot of first-time events that you get to experience as a parent can be very stressful and anxiety-inducing. To top it all off, the pandemic threw our lives off-kilter, making it harder to focus on our needs.

Amid all the confusion, uncertainty, and lockdowns, we put our children’s mental health first and our needs second. However, taking care of our well-being as adults is another way of taking care of our children. 

Here are five tips to help parents destress, refocus, and stay on top of their mental health!

Stop comparing yourself to other parents

Comparison is the thief of joy. Yet, it’s very hard to stop thinking about what other parents can offer their children. Other people might be buying houses and cars or sending their children to expensive schools, while you are still struggling to pay the monthly rent. To top it all off, every time you open social media, you are bombarded with photos and videos of happy families enjoying different types of activities, while you are scrambling to balance work, household chores, and quality time with your children. 

Whatever your situation, remember that everyone’s journey is different. Also, social media is notoriously fake. People mainly post the highlights of their lives, frequently curtailing their struggles and failures. Focus on your parenting journey and only compare the present you with the past you. By doing so, you will be able to realize just how much progress you have made.

Practice self-care

A lot of people think that self-care is about visiting the spa or the gym, getting a massage, going shopping, or traveling somewhere. While those types of activities can help, a lot of parents don’t have the time or the resources to indulge in them. Self-care is focusing on your needs and can be as simple as eating nutritious food, maintaining a consistent bedtime routine, watching your favorite show, going for a stroll around your neighborhood, writing a journal, etc. This could even include visiting the Dentist in Vista regularly to take care of your teeth!

Journaling for mental health has a lot of benefits. Writing down your daily activities, goals, and feelings can help you appreciate the progress you have made. You can also notice what negatively triggers you and work towards either overcoming or avoiding those triggers. Staying on top of preventative health is another important form of self care. Consider making an appointment for a home doctor visit in Seattle, so that you can address health issues without disrupting your routine.

Take up a hobby

Hobbies can improve your mental health and contrary to popular belief, your hobby doesn’t have to be time-consuming. Moreover, you don’t have to be particularly good at it either. As long as your hobby is relaxing and helps you temporarily push your daily worries to the back of your mind, that’s enough. 

If you find yourself in a situation where you cannot leave your home to enjoy an activity, focus on taking up a hobby you can do in the comfort of your home such as reading, writing, drawing, coloring books, doing online workouts (pilates, yoga, weightlifting), cooking, crocheting, DIY projects, woodworking, gardening, board games, puzzles, photography, etc. 

Incorporate digital breaks

A great portion of our lives is digital, especially our work. Most of us also find ourselves scrolling down our social media feeds every time we catch a break from parenting and work. Screens drain us more than we are willing to admit. Negative news can make us feel more anxious while social media feeds can significantly increase our fear of missing out, thus affecting our mental health. Incorporate digital breaks in your life by actively trying to switch reaching out for your phone with another activity. 

Admit that you are overwhelmed

There are days when we feel as if we cannot cope with what is going on in our lives. Admitting that you are overwhelmed doesn’t mean that you have failed as a parent. When we are overwhelmed, we get mentally exhausted and become easily irritable, stressed, unhappy, and unmotivated. Mental exhaustion messes with our eating and sleeping habits and attacks the body physically in the form of headaches and illness. 

Parents have too many responsibilities, and in their attempts to balance work, money issues, and their children, they often put a lot of pressure on themselves. Bottling up your feelings can negatively influence your mental health and can fuel resentment towards your family as well. When you are overwhelmed, pause. Take the time to think before you respond to your child or make any decisions. Share your feelings with someone – your partner, a family member, or a friend. Also, reaching out to a specialist when you notice even the smallest symptoms of depression can help you focus on what is important now, at this moment. 

Another reason to take care of being overwhelmed is that the longer you stay in that state, the more likely the situation is to get worse and the more overwhelmed you will feel. In some cases, this can lead to behavioural changes and more serious issues, such as substance abuse or over-reliance on prescription medications. If this happens, then for your own well-being (and to avoid modelling unhealthy behaviour for your children), it’s imperative to get help.

In such cases, your counsellor or physician might recommend that you remove yourself from your pressures and get restorative help from a substance abuse treatment centre for drug and alcohol rehab. (go now) Hopefully, you can take simpler steps before things get this far, but wherever you find yourself on the mental health continuum, you should always feel entitled to ask for the help you need.

Final thoughts

Every parent has high expectations of themselves and their children, but there are days in life when we realise that we cannot keep up with those expectations. On those days, it’s important to tell ourselves that we are doing the best we can even if that means skipping chores, doing less work, increasing the children’s screen time, or ordering in instead of cooking.