Brilliant Dad Feature 100. It’s Me! 

Well it’s the brilliant dad feature week 100. I did ask a few celebrities, but unfortunately Matt Damon, Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson were too busy filming so I guess you will have to put up with me little old DIY Daddy!
A little bit about me. I’m a dad to five   children. Four daughters and one son, including four year old twin girls. By day I’m a painter and decorator, by night I’m a couch potato watching rubbish TV (the soaps). I’m a huge fan of The Walking Dead. It’s an awesome show. I’m married to Emily from Twin Mummy and Daddy and we have been together for 12 years. I have two passions which are blogging and playing Xbox, but I never get time to play anymore! Blogging has given me more opportunities than I ever thought possible. I love it more now than when I started out.  

1. Have you always wanted to be dad? 

The honest answer is yes and no. No, because I never really thought about fatherhood as a teenager and I travelled a lot which meant having children was not going to happen. Also I grew up more or less on my own with just my mum, so there was never any small children at home. I was the youngest of all my cousins so I was always the one that was spoilt. The other reason that stayed with me for a long time was because of my own dysfunctional childhood, which made me believe that I would not able to be a good dad.

Yes, because I guess like a lot of men I wanted to be dad to pass some wisdom and knowledge to my children, something I had a total lack of in my own childhood. This is probably wrong, but I wanted to give back something I had missed out on. Possibly in some strange way to also show my own father how to be dad, not that he ever found out, because we were estranged for many years.

2. How did you feel when your children were born? 

First of all I have been lucky enough to have experienced that first moment five times and every time it’s a very special moment. The feeling of elation and joy is incomparable to anything else I have felt in my life. It’s very difficult to put it into words, but here we go. I have been lucky enough to feel an overwhelming love that I felt holding my child for the first time. I was never worried as I just thought this is why I’m here, this is why I was born. It felt like the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle. It completed me five times over.

3. What have been your most rewarding experiences so far as a dad ? 

Having five children ranging in ages from 21 down to five year old twins as you probably could imagine there have been many moments that my children have given me many rewarding experiences in their lives. To pin point particular ones is really difficult because everyday they reward me by being themselves.

They have over the last couple of years brought me a couple of lovely Father’s Day presents which are fantastic momentoes and brought a tear to my eye. If I’m honest I have lost count how many times they have made me cry with pride and happiness.

My three older children are now adults and it’s very rewarding to have watched them grow into responsible adults achieving what they want from their lives. I’m very proud of them. In today’s world it’s so easy to take a wrong path, but they haven’t and that’s reward enough.

My five year old twin girls reward me every time we go anywhere. They are so well behaved and always have been. It’s wonderful for us as parents to never have to worry about whether the girls are going to misbehave in public.

4. What are some of the funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad so far? 

This again is difficult to isolate a specific moment, but there is one story that springs to mind which was before my twin girls were born.

We all went to the cinema and after an elment of messing about where everybody was sitting, what I didn’t realise was that the seats didn’t stay down so I went to sit down and the seat wasn’t there, I sat on the floor! Everybody thought this was hysterical, except me. I was not even slightly amused. The story has been re-told a number times since, but of course I can see the funny side now.

Another funny moment that will stay with me forever is when we were on holidays last year in Majorca. My four year old twin girls were definitely being encouraged by their mum as they sneaked up on me and poured freezing cold ice and water over my head! I couldn’t help, but laugh when I saw how hysterical they thought it was! A priceless moment!

5. Have there been any situations with your children that you have found difficult to cope with? 

There was one moment five years ago next Tuesday that will forever stay with me for the rest of my life.

My twin girls were born prematurely and the emotional rollercoaster that was to follow for the next 27 days while they were in a neo-natal unit was very hard. There wasn’t a day that went by that I didnt worry or cry or just feel completly useless. I had seen neo-natal units on TV, but nothing could have prepared me for how your emotions would be pulled from pillar to post on an hourly basis. Easily the toughest experience of my life. Thankfully we were able to take the girls home after 27 days.

My three older children are from my first marriage which ended in divorce. A particular tough time for them as well as myself, was when I left. I took them for a drive on a Sunday afternoon to tell them I was not going to be living in the same house anymore. It broke my heart watching three small children trying to take in what I was saying. I never gave them false hope that I would be back because I knew I never would be, but I explained that I would still be a huge part of their lives which I have been throughout their lives.

I took them home and left quickly as that was the best thing to do. The moment I was on my own in the car I burst into tears and it was a very tough few months re-adjusting my life.

6. What are your hopes and dreams for your children? 

When my oldest daughter was about five years old I would sit on the patio in the summer at sunset and watch the stars slowly appear in the night sky, I would tell her that if you reach for the stars you will catch any, but also your life will have no limits and you can achieve anything you want in life. I hope they make the right decisions in life that makes them happy and fulfilled and achieve whatever their own goals are.

I hope they don’t regret anything and are brave enough to try whatever is put in front of them, and be true to themselves.

Finally I will not always be here that’s a fact of life, but I hope that the impression that I have had on their lives will help guide them through this minefield called life. I hope I live in their hearts and minds forever and they pass on to their children who I was and I hope they think I was a good dad, and that I love them all with all my heart.

Happiness is the key to a successful life.