Brilliant Dad Feature Week 121

This weeks brilliant dad feature is Carl, a stay-at-home daddy of two daughters. Olivia who is almost three years old and Robyn who is 9 months old. He blogs as The Dadtastic Voyage. He also husband to his amazing wife Rachel.

He only started his dad blog a little over a month ago. He started it as a place to share his experiences, learnings, failings and random thoughts about being a dad. This was partly to document their lives, partly to give a dad’s perspective on parenting, but mainly just to try and keep him out of trouble…

His blog chronicles his experiences as a dad to his two awesome daughters. It all started in 2015 when his wife went back to work and his life as a stay-at-home dad in a very mummy-focused world of parenting began.

1. Have you always wanted to be a dad?

The truthful answer is no. Rachel and I met when we were in our early twenties and were both adamant we didn’t want children. For years we both poured our time and energy into chasing career goals that for me ultimately proved to be hollow and unrewarding. My life as a stay-at-home dad however, each day holds many joys (and some challenges) that far outreach anything I achieved in the working world.

I can still remember the night we decided that we were going to start a family. We were on our way home from a night celebrating my parents wedding anniversary. I can remember waiting for the bus home, turning to Rachel and saying, “Shall we try for a baby?”

… And we never looked back.

2. How did you feel when your children were born?

Over whelmed! My daughter, Olivia, is now almost 3. The whole time leading up to, during and after her birth are a bit of a blur.

Olivia’s birth wasn’t easy! We’d already been in hospital three day before she arrived as Rachel had been admitted with High blood pressure and had to be induced. When she finally arrived all, I can remember is trying to be there for Rachel who was emotionally and physical drained from the long labour and at the same time realising I was now responsible for another human being who depended on me being able to look after them.

Rachel checked out okay but there was concerns that Olivia has contracted an infection and this meant that she spent her first three day in the special care unit so allow her to receive a course of antibiotics. As you can imagine it was a very scary time for us, as had any idea what was going on and no one could give us a straight answer as to the cause of the infection which making us even more anxious.

After an emotional week stay in hospital, Olivia check out ok was allowed home. To this day, no one can give us an answer to the cause of her infection and reason why she was so ill. Looking at her right now as I’m writing this, it really doesn’t matter. She’s happy, healthy and turning into an amazing little girl.

3. What have been the most rewarding experiences been so far?

Being a stay-at-home dad. I know that I’m lucky to have had this opportunity to be a hands-on father. Each day brings its own unique rewards, especially in the early days. Being there to see her crawl for the first time, to hear the first words, to witness their first steps. It has been an amazing opportunity, one I’ll always be grateful for. Though there’s a sense of guilt that it’s me getting to experience it while Rachel is off working.

I don’t think I can pick just one moment. Just seeing them learn and develop, witnessing their personalities blossom is brilliant. It makes me very proud when I have seen myself in them, the good qualities anyway! I also love hearing them learn new words. It’s an extraordinary and some of the one liners Olivia is coming out with now are just brilliant!

4. What are some of funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?

There’s just too many to choose from but If I had to pick…

Scooping baby poo out of the bath. It was just after Robyn was born and Rachel and the two munchkins were enjoying a nice, fun bath. I was in the bedroom, probably doing some mundane chore when suddenly, I heard Rachel scream out “there’s a poo in the bath!” Olivia or Robyn (as she didn’t know at this point) has decided to empty their bowels whilst in the tub. This resulted in manic scooping of shit out of the bath and a horrifying event that I never thought I’d experience.

After an interrogation that resembled something off a BBC crime drama, you know the good cop, bad cop routine Olivia finally confessed. You see this is the part of the parenting game that no one shares. You know it’s happened to everyone at least once.

5. Have there been any situations with your children that you found difficult to cope with? 

It’s often other people’s attitudes that I find difficult to cope with. You know the ones who ask if I’m ‘babysitting’ (I’m parenting, it’s OK?) Their assumption being that I, as a man, couldn’t possibly know how to feed, change and generally ensure the survival of my own child.

I’m never able to find changing tables in men's rooms.

I know other SAHDs go through exactly the same things, and while it can be annoying at the time, it’s small price to pay when I get to be my child’s primary carer. At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m trying to ignore them

6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?

To be happy, healthy and kind. And I want them to know that whatever they decide to do, they never should stop being themselves.