Brilliant dad feature week 74
before I had children and hadn’t a clue how much work is involved, twins must be tough going! Twins
actually run in my partner’s family so both times Mel was pregnant, the first thing we asked was how
many heart beats?! But yes, always wanted to be a Dad.
It’s an unbelievable feeling isn’t it?
Looking at this little baby, whom I’d never met, but was instantly head over heals in love with, and right
there and then I knew she was going to rock my world, it was just phenomenal. Tingles, nerves, relief,
tears, laughter & level of pride I felt was amazing.
After Mia was weighed & cleaned up, I got to push her back to the nursery in the trolley. But because I
was so much in awe, I was on planet ‘New Daddy’ nothing else matters bar what I was looking, as a
result I was going super slow sure my eyes were popping out of my head, oblivious to everything &
everybody around me so the midwife gave me a shoulder block while tutting to herself saying ‘Jayzus,
new Dad’s….give me that’! And off she sped. After that, I called my Dad to tell him he was a `Granddad
for the first time to a beautiful new baby girl’ After that call, there were a few tears of happiness. Happy
Dads!
With Elle, it was every bit just as amazing but under very different circumstances as she was 6 weeks
premature. Mel went in for a scheduled check up and her Dr. said ‘We are going to deliver your baby
tomorrow at 2pm’ so there was a different nervous feeling with Elle’s birth and when she cried for the
first time, the relief was overwhelming. There were a few complications and setbacks in her first 10 days
but after spending 18 days in hospital, thankfully we were given the OK to finally bring her home. There
were tears then also!! Fast forward to today and she’s 100% and that means we are a happy family!
3. What have been your most rewarding experiences so far as a Dad?
I’d have to say they are made up of a combination of ‘specific situations’ & some from everyday ‘little
gems’.
Bar the birth of both my girls, since I’ve become a Stay At Home Dad the little everyday experiences
have become extra special. The big bear hugs Mia gives while she roars at the top of her voice (right
into my ear btw) ’Squash & a Squeeze Dadda’, the little cute looks (depending on what she’s trying to get
of course!), endless playing of chase followed by ‘Daddy Tickle’, sitting in the same chair reading, baking
cookies together, watching Elle trying to figure out what the hell Dadda is feeding her this time, watching
Elle trying to crawl & feed herself. And now helping her to stand up while holding her tiny hands. These
little parts rock my world. Mia’s so perfect now at age 4, I just want to press the pause button & bottle
her up (is that possible no?! )
Specific situations vary from teaching Mia how to use the brake on her scooter correctly while balancing/
steering and helping her to learn how to ride her new bike with pedals. When she then turns around and says. Thanks Daddy for showing me that you’re the best’ it just melts me. Playing with football with her, I’ve recently just figured out she’s got a strong left foot on her and I’m convinced she’s gonna be a keeper as her natural instinct is to dive immediately and save it (que the YouTube clips!). It’s just brilliant to watch.
Best thing is Elle is in her jumperoo watching and taking every bit of what we are doing in. There’s going
to so more to come it just blows my mind with excitement & pride. Tell ya what?, when my girls figures
out how to get a few quid out of me, I’m absolutely screwed!!
Two spring to mind…
(a) After I became a new Dad I find myself standing in a queue (say in Tesco for example) and all of a
sudden I’ m rocking myself from side to side humming a fecking nursery rhyme! Seriously?! Two
problem exist now (i) I’m NOT holding my baby, yet swaying & humming for my life & (ii) I’m in public!!.
One day the missus was watching me from afar and decided not to come over & tell me about it as she
was laughing at me too much. Nice!!!!
(b) When Mia was learning to talk, she kept on singing a certain tune. To both Mel & I, it was confusing.
We could hear what we thought we heard and we tried to match it up to what we allowed Mia to watch
on TV, yet it just didn’t match up.
She’d sing (or what we thought) the following, ‘Granny is a dinosaur’, ‘Granny is dinosaur’! Mel and I
would look at each other and try to figure out what she was singing. For ages we just couldn’t get it. It’s
worth pointing out that Granny is a young Granny so the last thing we wanted was for her to hear her first grand-daughter singing, ‘Granny is a dinosaur over and over!”
Eventually, we got it. She was actually singing ‘Barney is a dinosaur’and not Granny!! Jayzus, dodged a
bullet there wha?! She got it from watching Barney in creche. Took a while for the penny to drop, not to
mention Mia’s pronunciation but when it did, at least we could explain what she was saying, especially to
Granny!
5. Have there been any situations with your children that you have found difficult to cope with?
Like any parent, absolutely.
With Mia, 99% of the time, she is as good as gold. She’s a beautiful specimen of a young girl. She’s
polite, funny as hell (especially as she’s getting older), she’s well behaved, says ‘thank you Daddy’ after
I give her something & always says ‘please’ when asking for things. She really was a model baby, very
easy on us as parents.
However, she is very much a Mummy’s girl, which I’ve been assured this will change (by Mammy no
less!) but at times, especially in yrs 2/3, she has pushed me away a lot and has screamed, roared,
kicked at me. Daddy has clearly been #2 (up until the last 4 months ish). Plenty of ‘Idon’t want you’and
when that happens, it does make you double guess yourself.
Not gonna lie, I found this very difficult because when Mia did that, I felt there was nothing I could do or
say to change it until Mammy would take over. Nightmare. Eventually after speaking with Mamma, Mia
would say ‘Sorry Daddy for being bold’, we’d kiss & makeup and all would be rosy again. But during
these times, I’d feel useless, powerless, with no control to fix the problem.
However, I’m absolutely
delighted to say that since becoming a SAHD,our relationship has
dramatically changed, all the above
has stopped and we are now having some serious fun.
Elle is too young yet (11 months) to cause difficult situations really. She’s a cryer/struggler well at home
at least and that is a big difference to Mia when she was Elle’s age. Time will map Elle’s path out!
6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?
Jayzus….I want everything for them
choices they make in life. I’d hope they have general ‘copon/awareness’ & to be tuned in. To know right
from wrong. To have the confidence to be independent which will allow them to make the correct
decisions when the time comes. To enjoy friends & appreciate good company & parties. To have no
regrets (easier to say than do). To have fun, shit loads of it. For them not to be too influenced by others
around them. To able to say ‘No’ if they think it is the right thing to do. To be independent and
comfortable in their own skin, whatever that turns out to be. Love themselves, love life, and be happy.
1 Comments
James Hopes
August 11, 2016 at 7:40 am
Well said that man!! Really enjoyed reading this – top work!