This week our Brilliant Dad Feature is Benny. He recently quit his job as an auctioneer to become a stay at home parent, which he says he loves. He decided to start a blog called Daddy Poppins to help him meet others in similar situations, allowing him to write and tell jokes and generally give a dad’s point of view of a role that is typically dominated by women. He has been blogging for just over 4 months now. Thank you to Benny for taking part.
1. Have you always wanted to be a dad?
Mmmmm… if you asked me when I was 17 I’d have stumbled and mumbled over this question, but once I was in a committed relationship to the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with then it seemed obvious. It’s the reason we are on this earth. Your whole life changes (but I love it). Forget sleep. Forget parties. It all about your kids from there on in and that’s fine with me.
For Ben (the first, he’s 6 now….going on 12)….scared is the first thing that springs to mind. (The fact that Hazel had to be brought in for an emergency section and I was left sitting in another room for what seemed like hours didn’t help, it was only a minute or two, but that’s what fear does that to you).
Is everything going to be OK?
How do I look after this little person?
Will I be a good Dad?
How will we survive?
Once I held my little man and saw my wife and the initial fear subsided it was pure elation. I was on a ‘Daddy high’ for a few months (which is good because it counterbalanced the lack of sleep).
For Bella (number 2), I knew the score so the fear wasn’t as big an issues. I must admit in the run up to her birth I wondered how on earth I could love anyone as much as our little man but once she arrived I realised that I have enough love for both of them. The main feelings I’ve had ever since are wonder and awe at how we were blessed twice with such wonderful kids. (I’m sure every parent feels the same)
Its the little things for me, we have a picture book called ‘Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see?’ by Eric Carle (the ‘very hungry caterpillar’ guy) and both my kids love it. Obviously Ben has grown out of it now but its Bella’s favourite, just like it was his at her age. I love that. She’s just turned 1 and you’ll say to her ‘Go get a book’ and she’ll disappear into the playroom and return 90% of the time with it. Then she’ll put it on your lap, say ‘Brow Ber’, smile the biggest smile you’ve ever seen and then turn around and wiggle ass first into the ‘sitting on lap’ position. I makes me feel lucky to be a Dad everytime.
But what makes it even better is that I regularly walk into a room and find Bella on Ben’s lap and he’s reading it to her and I know they’ve just enjoyed the same ‘get a book’ ritual. They love each other so much. To me that’s the most rewarding; Having 2 loving caring kids that will look out for each other.
4.What are some of funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?
There too many moments to even start…. I love listening to their thought processes and having random conversations with them is great. Ben comes out with some classics, here’s some recent examples;
Elevators to Space:
Ben: you know like, technology….Soon we’ll be so advanced that we’ll have elevators to Space.
Daddy: Really, you think so?
Ben: Yeah, It’s going to be run on ….ya know…..blue fire
Daddy: Blue Fire?
Ben: ……like on granny’s cooker
Daddy: Oh!….natural gas
(2 minutes of silence)
Ben: It’s going to take a bit of testing.
The quiet bath:
Daddy: you need a bath
Ben: I know
Daddy: right, go have one but your sister is asleep so be as quiet as a mouse
Ben: a ghost is quieter than a mouse
Ben: I’ll be a mouse ghost
Oh and we recently did a colouring competition, mainly to get him off his tablet and relaxed for bedtime. Ben and I were the participants and Mammy was Judging. I showed him my picture and he said
‘Oh Daddy, Yours is much better than mine!’
He then thought for a few seconds and said,
‘But she’ll pick mine because she loves me more!’
6 years old and he knows the score eh?
I think that gives a brief snapshot of the kinda things I hear on a daily basis.. some of which I had to hold back from putting on the net in case his friends stumble across it when he’s a teenager.
I’m glad to say ….No, bar the normal tantrums, late nights and poo up the back type incidents. Maybe there have been what some others may describe as ‘situations’ but by addressing them and dealing with things calmly and logically they have been passed over without too much fuss. (I do the logical, Hazel does the calm). We dont claim to be perfect parents. If we did we’d be liars but all you do is be the best you can and it helps.
To be happy, safe and know they are loved. That’s it. Sounds simple but I don’t care if they become a doctor or road sweeper (no offence to road sweepers), if they are gay or straight, rich or poor. I just want them to be happy and know that they are loved and that we’ll always be there for them.