Brilliant dad Feature Week 19
My name is Elan Gelbart. I’m 45, live in Montreal Canada and have been separated from my wife since the end of January 2015 when she took off with the kids with no warning.
This is the second time in five years and it is also definitely the final time. I have two beautiful girls aged 12 and 8.
I never thought I would ever have a blog. Mind you, I never thought I would ever get divorced (well up until we separated five years ago for the first time, but even after we got back together, it didn’t enter my thought process).
I have always enjoyed creative writing in school, but never pursued it and haven’t really written anything since. I decided to start writing, simply as a therapeutic outlet and showed it to only a select few close friends. A few weeks into it I decided to just put it out there and see what happens.
I was leery of opening myself up to my friends and acquaintances. While I was completely unconcerned about strangers, I wasn’t sure how buddies and the like would react, but I realised that it was worth the risk and I don’t regret it for a second! By doing so I’ve become part of a large, vibrant, supportive and incredibly funny community that I am proud to be a part of.
Elan blogs at One Dad Two Girls.
Thank you to Elan for taking part in the Brilliant Dad Feature!
1. Have you always wanted to be a dad?
I believe that abstractly I did. I always knew I wanted a family and all that it entailed. After getting married, it was much more concrete.
2. How did you feel when your children were born?
It was a rush of feelings. Grateful that neither of them came out with a cone head, excited at the possibility of sending two more innocent people to therapy and guilty at the fact that I literally missed the birth of kid number two while buying a coffee in the lobby.
3. What have been the most rewarding experiences been so far?
Realising what being a father really means and just spending time with them. Watching my girls grow from pretty much inanimate blobs into truly amazing, thoughtful, and caring people that, if I weren’t related to them, I’d be honoured to know them. My most rewarding experiences so far are simply just being their dad.
4. What are some of funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?
Oh boy, I don’t even know where to start! There was the part about missing the birth of our youngest whilst getting a coffee for the wife and getting banned from parent teacher interviews come to min. Learning that a blowout was not just for tyres. Having to put cream on my girls when changing them and seeing into places no human should ever see.
5. Have there been any situations with your children that you found difficult to cope with?
Not many until now luckily, they’ve been exposed to death and separation and we dealt with it with no issues. Younger kids want simple answers, they don’t need all the details, just enough so they understand the concept. Now though we’re entering some choppy waters with at least two situations that I’m dreading. One word, puberty and that’s a journey that is just beginning.
The biggest one by far though is going through two separations with their mother, the current one ending in divorce and having to try to guide them through this minefield as best I can.
6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?
I thought that this might be the most difficult question to answer and then I realised it was the easiest. I want them to be happy and healthy. I want them to be well rounded and considerate. I want them to stay forever young and yet at the same time I want them to experience all that life has to offer them. I want them to love and be loved and to know that I will always be here for them. Oh, and I want them to be filthy, stinking rich so I can retire early and have them take care of me!
