Challenging moments with your children part 1
I am a dad of 5 children and there have been many moments over the years that have been incredibly difficulty.
Either in terms of just being there for them or trying to sort out problems they may have. I am sure there will be many more moments of difficulty.
First up in my new series is my now 20 year old daughter,J.
My oldest child is 19 and over the years she has given a few problems. I have to admit the most difficult for me was when she was about 15 years old and went over the park with her friends and got so drunk that she could barely walk.
Her sister rang me to say that she thought J was really drunk and it may be a good idea to find her.
I set off immediately and literally in 10 minutes I found her and her friend barely able to walk and they were with a young lad who appeared to be trying to carry them both. I got my daughter and her friend in the car and took her friend home to face her own consequences, as for my daughter I took her home and basically she was incapable of anything so put her to bed to sleep it off.
The following morning I would imagine she had a shocking hangover although I do remember asking her and she said I’m fine which made laugh inside!
Anyway I started to talk sensibly to her about how much danger she had put herself in because literally anything could have happened. She was on the main route to the city centre and both of them could have been bundled into a car and well terrible things could have happened. Thankfully they didn’t.
I have never been very good at discipline with my children, but felt this could not go unpunished. So I decided to take the things that really matter to a 15 year old teenager.
1. Her mobile phone was taken off her for one week.
2. Her laptop was taken away for four weeks and no use of the Internet was allowed unless it was relevant to schoolwork.
3. Finally she was grounded for six weeks basically only allowed out for school.
I did stand by all the punishments I set out except I think I allowed her out after four weeks. The plus side was her GCSE exams were to be taken in a couple of months and she did really well because she had plenty of time to revise. The silver lining to every situation!
I’m not sure what she learnt from it, but she never complained about the punishment and said she realised it was a very stupid thing to do, putting herself in danger and she has always said that was the worst she has ever been and even now never allows herself to get that drunk. So hopefully there was a lesson learnt.
I never did find out the boys name who had looked after her and her friend, but he did great job making sure no harm came to them.
6 Comments
PinkPearBear
September 23, 2015 at 6:51 am
I think the hangover probably contributed to her not drinking again too!! I think you did very well and it obviously worked, a punishment plus a reality check about the dangers that could have befallen them. I used to do silly things as a teen but I don't think we could ever afford to get that drunk, it was usually a bottle of white lightening between 10!! 😀 I'm very glad she had good friends to look after her. #bestandworst
rhymingwithwine
September 23, 2015 at 10:53 am
I can only imagine how you must have felt? (My two are only tiny). Your heart must have been in your mouth. Sounds like you handled it brilliantly. I'll reflect on this when the time comes. #bestandworst
NewMummy Blogger
September 23, 2015 at 10:32 pm
Sounds like you did the right thing, and, importantly, she knew it too. Good results sound like a bonus, but possibly also reinforced your point too. #bestandworst
Helen Gandy – Beautiful Things
September 24, 2015 at 1:23 pm
Ohh I think I did something very similar at 15 and my Dad had to come and cart me home absolutely waster…..I've never really touched vodka since! I do remember feeling awful the next day and my Dad pretty much made my life hell for a good week after! Ahhh the joys of being a teen! Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst 🙂
@SarahAnneDG
September 25, 2015 at 10:35 pm
Oooh, I'm not looking forward to the mid/late teenage years. When I look back at some of the things I did when I was that age I cringe…I was lucky my parents never knew about most of it but then that makes me worry even more about my son hiding things from me! He's only 13 so hopefully we have a few years before I really need to start worrying!
I think you handled that situation really well. There were consequences and you stuck to them, and you didn't go crazy on her (which might have just pushed her to do it again).
#brilliantblogposts
Something Crunchy Mummy
September 26, 2015 at 7:20 am
Oh no, I did the same at 15 but ended up in hospital. My mum and dad were fuming as you would expect. They grounded me and took my phone which was the end of the world!! Great post! Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx