Dads Are Finally More Involved With Their Children Lives

Nowadays I read so much about how dads are changing and are now connecting with their children on a new more involved level. This could well be because there are a lot more stay at home dads than ever before, although I believe that is still very much in its infancy and a very small percentage of dads. It could also be that men are now balancing work and family life better than before with possibly a little bit of help from their employers, but oh my goodness that has such a long way to go.

I have always had a very close and involved relationship with all my children, and my eldest daughter is 23 years old now. Does that make me a leader when it comes to being involved in my children’s lives? Possibly but I never saw myself like that. Nowadays there is so much talk of dads being open and more involved in their children’s lives. I have being doing this for the last twenty years and the fact that I see this happening with the younger generation of dads is so pleasing to watch. It shows we really are making strides as dads, and dads are finally beginning to realise that there is more to life than work, work and more work. Family and children are equally important.

From the moment my eldest daughter was born, I realised that I didn’t want to miss a thing and the most important thing in my life was being a father. Of course I needed to work, but I found a balance that allowed me to have time with my children, but also earn a living. Truth be known it wasn’t that difficult. It was about priorities and realising that taking a few hours away from work for sports day or the school play wasn’t a big issue. Of course it helped that I was self employed because I could decide without having to ask anyone, and I totally realise that it is not so simple when you work for somebody, but I’m sure with a little consultation with your employer things could be sorted out.

Dads are now connecting with their children more than ever and not using the age old excuses of “I can’t make it because of work”. Dads are standing up and being counted and saying, “No, I’m going. My children deserve for me to be there to watch them in their school play or sports day.” It’s not only good for them to see their dads there, but you as a dad get to create some cherished memories that will last a lifetime.

You can ultimately turn to yourself in the years to come and say I have no regrets. I made the effort to be there for my children for those important milestones, those special moments and connecting with my children.

Over the last month I have been involved with two initiatives around dads. The First was a review of a book called Dads Don’t Babysit It’s Called Equal Parenting written by Dave Freed and James Millar. It’s a fantastic book showing how dads are finally seen as equals when it comes to parenting. It’s a must read  for dads and actually every parent.

The second was an independent survey carried out by DaddiLife, called the Dad Index 2018. Over 1,200 dads were surveyed across the UK, and finally there is definite proof that dads are very involved in their children’s lives. For example,, dads take their children to the park 3-6 times a month and that is one of the many things that may well surprise you. Check this out, it so worth a read.

These are two examples that I have personally been involved with to show that dads are more active and involved with their children’s lives.

As a dad are you more involved or active in your children’s lives? Do you make the bigger effort to be there for them? I would love to hear.

23 thoughts on “Dads Are Finally More Involved With Their Children Lives

  1. My Dad, in fact, my parents, were what you might term “traditional”. Working class, my Dad worked LONG hours to provide for us while my Mum kept the house, and us kids, in order. He paid her a weekly allowance from his wages to get the groceries and others things. That sounds almost medieval by todays standards. The thing is that I was the opposite when I moved in with my wife. I mucked in 50/50 with all household stuff. And, when children came along, I did as much with them and was as involved as I possibly could have been. The world has changed – for the better.

  2. So dad’s should be involved in a childs upbringing, unless theirs safeguarding issues, of course. My parents were very old fashioned. My dad worked and still does work long hours to bring in the income. Ive told my dad that i wish he was around more when i was growing up. I encourage my husband to be involved with our boys, so much so we became self employed so we could be at home!

  3. Given that Hubby is at work during the day and I work from home with the boys, when he comes in he usually takes over – partially so I can get on with work without having to have one eye on the boys, but so he can get time with them.
    I often suggest he takes Ben to the shops with him and to share baths so they have one on one time together. There is nothing like watching father and child together bonding!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week.

  4. I agree with you. My husband is a hands-on Dad. We both work full time and I blog in my own time. He also has other interests but our kids come first. We share the school runs, the performances, the clubs, the dinners. He’s as hands-on as I would want him to be. I know not everyone is as lucky and as you say, its’ only a small percentage of Dads. But it makes the world of difference to the kids #TriumphantTales

  5. I look back at my childhood and all the things that dads were doing then and sometimes wonder if maybe they always were and nobody was giving them the credit that they deserve? Something I’m going to give some more thought to. You may have just inspired a blog post mate #triumphanttales

  6. This is an interesting post as I think things have changed more in recent times on the whole.

    Personally I’m involved in parenting decisions every day and no significant decisions are made without my input. I’m involved in every aspect of my sons life, I give him a bath every time (I don’t think my wife has ever given him a bath actually…), I put him to bed every day.

    I love being involved and can’t understand any Dad who doesn’t want to be!

  7. As two dads we don’t have any choice other than be involved 😜 When I was a boy my own dad worked long hours which meant I didn’t really see him very often and as a result our relationship was poor, especially when I was a teenager and needed him most. That’s not going to be case with our kids. x

  8. I know how significant a dad can be, as my mum died when I was a young teen, whereas my dad lived to see me grow up, and was hugely involved in all our lives. #ThatFridayLinky

  9. I do think that life and perceptions have changed so much since I was a child in the 70s. My dad worked whilst mum stayed at home and did all the housework and predominantly looked after us. It wasn’t that Dad was distant, far from it, but society was so different. Nowadays a lot more couples both work, so the shift to men doing more about the house and taking over some of the childcare has had to happen. I much prefer the relationships that Dads have now. #ThatFridayLinky

  10. I grew up with a loving but absent (due to work) father. He was fab but worked all hours. When my Hubbie has our children we decided that his work would always come second and he would always be there for bath time. And he was! I worked part time and this worked for us. It’s so important for couples to have this discussion before they have children because someone has to look after them! In this day and age where mortgages are so expensive, many couples both have to work but it’s so important to think about how you want your children to be cared for and make sacrifices. It’s not forever after all. I’m glad you write this post Nige. Loved it. #thatfridaylinky

  11. Stopping by again and still think this is a great post. Dads are not babysitters! I am so thankful to have my husband as a partner. There are things my daughter prefers to do with me…tubs and such just because she is at that age but she is daddy’s little girl! #thatfridaylinky

  12. Having been reading your blog for a while Nigel, it’s obvious you’ve always had family and kids at the centre of your life. Regardless of trends, I think you are just one of those guys (the best sort, obvs). Yes, dads are unquestionably more involved than ever. The aim is to encourage employers that dads need the same flexibility as mums as that doesn’t seem to be happening, or not as much as it should. Overall, however, dads are definitely more invovled with their kids than ever before. I think all the evidence proves this, including the Dadindex The Dads Don’t babysit book was a rallying cry for guys to gather round and push for more rights as dads. . Thanks for hosting #thatfridaylinky

  13. I think things are definitely improving, although I think there is a lot of work to be done in the home too. More dads are more involved than it at first appears, although I believe that there are yet more who want to be involved, but feel work and social pressures to conform to more ‘traditional’ roles.

    There are so many ‘mummy’ blog posts that refer to the ‘beta parent’ who is ‘unable to pack a lunchbox, braid hair or do laundry in an acceptable way’ etc. This doesn’t help unfortunately – it presents the opinion, of an influencer, that dad’s can’t and shouldn’t get involved with the household stuff – that’s mum’s domain. So, mum doesn’t encourage dad to get involved, and dad shies away from what he wants to do.

    The kids lose out.

    There are a few bolshy dads (and mums) – like us – who buck the trend and dig in. Hopefully this continues until we have a genuinely even playing field.

    This will, I hope, have the added benefit of making it normal for dads to be more involved, and granted greater access after a separation.

    We are, at least, moving in the right direction.

  14. This is a great post. My husband works long hours but is still involved with our children as much as he can be and he certainly backs up the park statistic as he’s always taking our little girl there at weekends! He’ll also make time for any special events at nursery, as well as birthdays and any other celebrations. I think it’s becoming the norm now for fathers to become more involved with their children and to be there for those important moments. I think employers are also much more understanding about the importance of this than they have been in the past. #thatfridaylinky

  15. I was very blessed growing up because my dad was really involved in our lives. He was ahead of his time! He worked longer days so that every 2nd Friday, he could have the day off and be at home with us. I loved it.

    And it’s brilliant that there is now a cultural shift happening where dads really can be equal parents with mums. Parental leave can now be split equally between parents (my cousin and his wife took 6mths each this year) and dads come home from work and get stuck in at home. This can only be a good thing for families and let’s keep the progress coming!

    And congratulations because someone enjoyed this post so much, they chose to add it to the BlogCrush linky. Hurray! Feel free to grab your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush

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