David From Tales Of Two Children Is Today’s Guest Post 

Today’s  guest post is from David who blogs at Tales of Two Children. David and I would be considered older dads to young children so what better subject than his thoughts of being an older dad to young children. David is a brilliant, funny and thought provoking blogger. I would highly recommend you check out his blog.

Thank you to David for guest posting today.

Older Dad: The Inner-Demon &Me 

Life as an Older Dad

Okay, so Nige at DIY Daddy asked me to write a guest post; for which I’m very grateful as he is one of my favourite bloggers. But then he suggested a certain topic: he wanted a post about me being an older dad. The request went something like this: “We’re both older dads. We have girls the same age. How about you write about that? You know, being an older dad.”

But all I heard echoing through my older-dad head was: older dad, older dad, old, old, old dad. So I went away and started thinking about the post, which was a big mistake. My anxiety levels soared and my inner-demon, who loves all things sarcastic and age related, was poised and waiting.

But I tried to ignore him, and come up with a snappy title for the post. “Okay, then. What can I call it?” It was with that simple question asked of myself that my inner-demon took charge and brainstormed on my behalf.

How about, ‘Old Fart, Young Kids.’ Or maybe, ‘It’s Surprising he’s still got it in Him at his Age.’ Or: ‘There’s Still Many a Good Tune Played on an Old Fiddle.’ Or: ‘A Dad with a Young Mate and a Set of Jump Leads.’

I tried to ignore him and snatched up my crossword book from the coffee table in an effort to calm the anxiety building inside me, because anxiety about my age tends to add fuel to his fire. I needed to deflect. “Now, unless you can tell me the answer to four down, just leave me be.”

What’s the clue?

“Forget it.”

Don’t be like that. I promise not to mention your age again. Come on, we’ll do the crossword together. What’s the clue?

“Okay, just this once. Four across: ‘Like Coleridge’s mariner’; seven letters.”

Oh dear. You really are a glutton for punishment, aren’t you! A.N.C.I.E.N.T. ANCIENT! …

“Bugger …”

You just keep setting yourself up, don’t ya! I’d leave you to it, Methuselah, but this is fun! What’s the next clue?

The little book of crosswords fluttered through the air and came to rest against the wheel of Little Man’s old walker. I sat, chin in hands, staring at the walker and a little cough echoed through my head.

We might have to invest in a bigger one of them before long.

I sighed deeply to myself. “I’m sure I’m going to regret this, but if you won’t leave, how about being more constructive. I need you to be helpful, supportive.”

Oh, I get it: like care in the community; help the aged. That sort of thing.

“No! I need to think of a way to explain how having kids as an older guy has affected my life, in a positive way. I want to give it some perspective. I want to say how wonderful and fulfilled my life is with them.”

Okay, I’ll be helpful. Just this once. So, you want perspective … How about this: Little Man is just over two, which is 27.77 months, just over 120 weeks, or 844 days old. Whereas, Fidget, who’s 5, is 61.6 months, which is 268 weeks, or 1876 days …

“How does knowing all that help? I asked for perspective!”

Bear with me, old man, I was just getting to that. So: you’re 660.23 months old, which is 2871 weeks, or 20097 days. Oh. I see what you mean. It’s not really that helpful, is it? But it’s brilliant for perspective! It really demonstrates the vast gulf of time between you and the kids. After all, in years that makes you …

“Okay, leave it there!”

Well, it is quite a big number.

“I know. Hence the subject matter for this post.”

How about a quick Q&A? That might work.

“What sort of questions did you have in mind?”

Well, you could always tell me how it felt finding out you were going to be a dad at your age.

“It felt great. We decided to have Fidget when I was in my late forties. Okay, so there was some angst about leaving it late. For me, I mean. Mum was, and is, in her prime …”

Yeah, you’re definitely punching above your weight where mum’s concerned. Tell me about the angst, before you forget what you were talking about!

“Thanks for that. The angst I mentioned centred round me working out how old I would be when Fidget hit different age milestones. Truthfully, it worried me quite a lot at the time. I was quite anxious that by the time she was 21, I’d be … well, quite old.

“But things changed when she arrived. Now, and since Little Man joined us two years ago, I don’t know what all the fuss was about. I truly wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s impossible for me to compare having kids in my twenties or thirties, because I have nothing to compare it to. Would it have been better had I had them when I was younger? Who knows? What I can say about the here and now, is that it’s the best thing that’s happened in my life. It’s like Fidget & Little Man have filled a hole I didn’t know existed before; it’s made me feel complete.”

You’re just an old softy.

“That’s probably true of me now. I’m a lot more easy-going than I used to be. How can I put this? With the kids, I’m more like my grandfather was with me than my father ever could have been. I relish the time with the kids, without missing other things I used to spend my time on. It’s all good. Actually, it’s all great.

“There’s an old cliché about kids keeping you young, which for me, is not a cliché. Fidget & Little Man keep me running day and night. But the thing is, I’m running with a big fat smile on my face. Being an older dad is great. Actually, forget the older bit, and just say, being a dad is great, because the older bit really doesn’t matter.”

So what are you going to write about?

“I don’t know. What was the brief again?