Dealing with Midlife Confidence Problems? You’re Not Alone.
Many people call it the midlife crisis. It’s a period of doubt and anxiety that often affects people who are in their forties or fifties. We’re going to be focusing a little bit more on the male side of things here (this is a daddy blog, after all!), but it’s important not to see this as exclusively a male issue, as many people do. Both women and men have doubts in their “mid years” that can cause serious problems with their confidence. It’s also important not to use the helpful term “midlife crisis” as a means of brushing these feelings off as something trivial to which only whiney or unsuccessful people succumb.
Fathers may feel a particular pressure when it comes to low confidence. Society often puts pressure on men to appear strong and confident, to be rocks that the women and children of their family can always turn to. This sort of outlook is often said to be insulting to women – and, to be sure, it does suggest that women are somehow less capable of emotional strength, which is patently false – but rarely do people consider the damage it can do to men. But more attention is being paid to the need for men to be able to confront and deal with their feelings, even if it means turning to others for help.
Regardless of your age or gender, there will be something in this guide that will help you feel more confident in your chosen path, or inspire you to take action to boost your waning confidence.
The problems people often face
So what sort of specific worries do people have when they reach their mid years? It’s often said to be a feeling in which people start to looking at the environment they’ve found themselves in and end up questioning what the point of it all is. They start asking themselves if this is all there is to life.
This can trigger a set of feelings that focus primarily on mistakes, regrets, faults, and lack of achievements, or the ultimate use of gained achievements. If we could whittle the main areas of concern down to four, then it would be fair to say that the most troubling areas concern finances, relationships, health and fitness, and career trajectories. Of course, the specific problems people face will often be unique to them. But we’re going to try focusing on these areas for now, as they’re among the most common.
Why a lack of confidence is a serious problem
The lack of confidence that these feelings can trigger is not to be taken lightly. Indeed, a lack of confidence isn’t something to take lightly at any age. It could be said that it’s more concerning when someone is in their forties or fifties. After all, isn’t a lack of confidence something more often found in teenagers or young adults? Shouldn’t someone at the midpoint of their life feel a lot more confident?
That sort of thinking can actually make things worse. That is to say, feeling that you should be feeling confident at this stage in your life can make you feel even less confident than you already were! It’s a vicious cycle of sorts – and it can lead to increased levels of stress and even depression.
Many people are aware by now that stress and depression are not things to be taken lightly. They can be much more debilitating, both mentally and physically, than people think. Because low confidence often results in these things, it’s clear that it’s something that ought to be treated as a serious problem, not a trivial one.
Finding the cause of your problem
So why exactly are you suffering feelings of low confidence? Don’t just say it’s because you’re getting old. As mentioned before, there are key areas where most people will find the actual roots of their problems. If you don’t define the specific problem, then you’re going to have a hard time doing anything about it!
Wikimedia
It’s time to have a good, long think about your current low state. It doesn’t sound fun, I know. But you need to identify the issues. Maybe you should even – whisper it – write a list . Yes, that dreaded suggestion! List the problems you’re having. Look deep and be honest. Are you not happy with your career? Did you think you’d have more money at this point in your life? Are you not as fit and happy as you used to be?
Taking steps now
If you want to help resolve the problem, then it simply isn’t enough to chalk it all up to a midlife crisis. Sitting back and assuming it will pass, that it’s just something that affects most people at around this age, isn’t going to fix anything. It simply lets problems linger and fester. And it’s important to recognize that most people’s midlife crises are actually the result of lingering problems they’ve had for a long time, often for decades – problems they tried to ignore and allowed to simmer in their unconscious before age caught up with them and triggered a psychological crisis.
Don’t be tempted to dawdle. If you’ve outlined the problems you’re having that are causing a crisis of confidence, then get to work. And rest assured that, whatever your problem is, there is probably something that can make you feel much better.
Dealing with looks and fitness
We all have to deal with a decline in looks and fitness as we grow older, right? Well, we can actually do a lot to slow down the decline if we start taking proper care of our bodies. It’s never too late to start fixing up your diet and getting to work on an exercise routine. Just remember to make changes slowly as opposed to going all-out overnight!
Perhaps the most common concern for aging men is hair loss. While many people tend to exaggerate how disastrous hair loss is (most men don’t look that bad when they’re bald!), it can still be a pretty disheartening process if you’ve come to love the locks you’ve lived with for decades. Again, it’s important to start taking steps now if you want to improve things. There are a lot of solutions out there – for example, Propecia is used for men with hair loss problems. Some may argue that trying to fight baldness isn’t worth it. But if it can improve your confidence, it absolutely is!
If you’re not quite old enough to be having a midlife crisis of confidence, then don’t wait until you are to start changing things up! The fact is that a lot of what people see as the natural declines that come with age are actually the result of decades of not working out or eating right. How do you think there are elderly people out there who look decades younger than they actually are? That’s right: healthy lifestyles. Well, that and a slight degree of good biological luck.
Pixabay
New horizons
Career concerns are also prominent among middle-aged men. Those who aren’t as far along their chosen career path as they hoped to have been will find a lot of cause for lost confidence. One of the main problems here is that people tend to remain in place even after realizing that they’re not happy where they are. After all, when you’re in your forties or fifties, what’s the use of making changes to your career?
Don’t adopt this outlook. Even if you don’t plan an immediate change of job, you should be exploring similar or senior positions that offer higher salaries. You may even want to consider looking for similar jobs that offer more flexible working hours. You could spend extra time that you gain learning a new skill. And don’t fall for the myth that it’s too late to learn a new skill. There are few things out there more effective when it comes to boosting confidence, no matter your age!
