Do You Need A Father As A Role Model When You Become A Dad?

The answer in a word is no. You don’t. However, my concern is that it is projected by society that we all need a father whilst growing up so that we have a role model to help us develop our skills as a father when that moment in life comes that a little one calls us dad.

In my own childhood I grew up without the influence of a father in my life.

Did it have any adverse effects when I became a father?

None whatsoever that I can genuinely think of. In fact if anything it had some positive effects as it actually taught me valuable lessons on how to be a dad. It taught me that whatever the situation is between your parents, as a dad you can still be a part of your child’s life, you just have to want that. Sadly my own father didn’t want that and the lesson learned for me is to be there for your children no matter what.

The most interesting point to me is that fathers and mothers apparently approach parenting in different ways, but we don’t we parent in exactly the same. You actually don’t need any special qualities to be a dad or a mum. It really annoys me when I hear things such as he is really a great dad, he’s always there for his kids supporting them, playing with them, changing nappies etc etc etc. Please get real. Why shouldn’t he being doing all those things? You don’t need a pat on the back because as a father you managed to change a nappy, it’s hardly rocket science. You should be there for your children. It shouldn’t feel like a job because the love you should feel for your child should want you to be there every step of the way for your child so when somebody says oh, he is a hands on dad, it really annoys me!

Why wouldn’t he be? It’s his son or daughter, and the fact that you change nappies, cook their tea or whatever you do it should be born out of love and responsibility to your child.

As I have said I grew up without a father figure in my life so when I became a father myself I had no memories from childhood that I could draw upon that I could use in my own journey of fatherhood, other than the fact that he was absent, but I think that did me a favour because I had no preconceived ideas of fatherhood and looking back I’m happy about that because I was able to do it my own way, make my own mistakes, learn from them and move on to the disaster or success as a father that would be waiting for me.

On a more serious note the only thing I might have learnt from my father was how not to be there for your children, drink too much and be a nightmare when he was drunk, so if I had grown up taking notice and watching this sort of fatherhood practises throughout my childhood. I’m curious what sort of father it would have made. I’m guessing a pretty crap dad.

I genuinely don’t believe you need a father figure in your childhood to show you how to be a good dad. Times have changed from 30 or 40 years ago. Dads are different today because the values and beliefs held all those years ago are gone.

There is a new dad in town. A dad that understands the responsibility, love and commitment to being the best dad he can be. You don’t need or require a father of your own as a role model for that. All you need is to love your children and spend time with them, listen to them and just always be there for them. You don’t need a dad in your life to teach you that. Surely it should come naturally and being a dad is after all the best thing in world and should never be taken for granted. I wake every morning thinking how lucky I am to have five children. It’s the best feeling in the world.

What do you think? Do you need a dad as a role model to become a better dad? I would love to hear in the comments below.