Feeling guilty as a parent never goes away

I would have to say that I definitly feel guilty, but is it us or is it our children putting a guilt trip on us? Children are very clever at making us believe we are not doing a good job to achieve maybe something they want and as they get older they hone this to perfection. 

Being a parent holds massive responsibility and I have always thought that it’s something we should be complacement about. 

From the moment your child is born, guilty feelings start to emerge and they’re there all the time. It could be anything from, why is baby not sleeping or feeding, or they seem unhappy etc. We have all done it! 

You’re convinced that what you’re doing is wrong and feel so guilty about it as other babies are happy feeding etc so you wonder what’s wrong with my baby?!

As your children grow feelings of guilt are never far away to rear their head. It could be something simple like they have fallen over and grazed their knees, but instantly you think what could I have done to prevent that? I remember shutting the car door on one of four year old twins hands. I felt awful and incredibly guilty that I had not been more careful. 

Once your children hit the teenage years this is where I feel they use their very carefully perfected skill at guilt tripping and will also justify that I do understand why. 

It will be something simple like my friends are all going to the cinema or going on a trip in school, and of course the latest must have fashions too! We have all been there and sometimes you simply can’t afford it and you tell them no. Teenagers at that point are brilliant and will tell you that they’ll look like an idiot in front of all of their friends if they don’t have it! Followed by lines such as, do you want me to look like a fool and my friends won’t like me anymore?! The list is endless. Eventually you give in! Why? Because you feel guilty that you are letting your child down!

My conclusion of feeling guilty as a parent of teenagers and beyond is one of children knowing how to play you and wear you down until eventually they get what they want.

Guilty feelings about babies and toddlers are more centered around your own insecurities about being new to parenting. After all it’s the most rewarding job in the world, but also the toughest. Some very rare people are born to parent, but most of us make it up as we go along and actually if we didn’t have guilty feelings it probably means maybe we are not doing a good job. As a parent guilt is also another word for caring and love for your children.