My day when it's me and the twins part1

Monday morning we all wake around 6.45am courtesy of my wife’s Fitbit I’m ready to go after another crap night of sleep due to sharing a bed with four year old twins fidgeting,snoring and farting and the wife’s snoring is loud too! Apparently I snore but I never hear it. 

I have got to have a cup of tea to rehydrate my body of a glorious restful night. 

The twins are sitting watching CBeebies and this is when the first test of the day starts will I pass not a f—ing chance. 

I ask the girls what would you like for breakfast after naming a number of things I have a resounding no to everything my blood is starting boil my god how difficult is it to pick breakfast and then the moment that incenses me they ask for the first thing I suggested.

My wife has left for work by 7.30am and fear roots me to the spot I’m on my own with two four year olds that have teenage traits. 

With military precision I have approximately one hour ten minutes to get them ready and in nursery on time. I wish somebody could tell me where this time goes it’s 8am 40 minutes left and they are not dressed. 

With panic and persuasion I convince the girls to get dressed eventually because they must do their own buttons please let daddy do it it would be so much quicker. 

I can’t believe it’s 8.20 time is running out shoes on now girls have a piece of fruit please no I hear eat anything breadstick. 

Before I know it it’s 8.40am gotta go coats on have a wee out the door in the car another game the girls like to play and it’s so funny not! They won’t sit in their seats my blood pressure is though the roof. 

Driving to nursery I listen to girls shouting questions at me we are there and my god I’m early by five minutes and it’s chucking it down with rain so now I get soaking wet. 

That’s it done off to work for a few hours and back for 11.30am pick up to be continued