My Older Children: Is This The Future I Don’t Like It!

Last week for four days my three older children from my first marriage were all away from home. My eldest, J, was in Rome for five days. My daughter, E, was in Uganda and not due home until the Sunday, and my 18 year old son was at a music festival for five days. This is the first time that all three of them at the same time have not been in the same city as me.

There has always been one of them around, but I guess it’s a sign of the fact that they have all grown up and this is something I will have to get used to, but I don’t want to! I really don’t like it!

I was working painting the outside of a house up a ladder which if I’m honest is where I do most of my thinking. I’m sure it’s where I get most of my inspiration for my writing. This thought struck me that all three of them were somewhere else. Life just seems to change in a moment, because I vividly remember taking them to primary school as if it was yesterday and thinking at the time they will never grow up, but of course they do as will my five year old twins one day.

So my eldest, J, was in Rome and incredibly stressed on the phone to me upset and crying just wanting to come home because of an unfortunate incident with the person she was travelling with. This gives you a huge feeling of helplessness because she is a plane flight away and I could only offer comfort on the phone that everything will be ok.

My daughter, E, is in Uganda, and as I have written about before and I had an overwhelming feeling to face time her the same night. I just needed to speak and see her and know that she was ok. She was emotional, but that was down to the work she has been doing in the hospital in Uganda, and when she was telling me how little they have I started to well up myself. I also had an overwhelming feeling of pride and love at all the work she has been doing and making a difference.

My son, A, has gone to a music festival. This is a first and I was pretty sure he was nervous but very excited. He’s texting me regularly to just let me know he’s ok.

What struck me was how precious it is to remember all the little things that your children do. They could be big moments or insignificant small moments, but these unique moments are what form the memory of your child growing into adulthood. They will live forever in your mind and heart, because I have discovered in a blink of an eye your children grow up and become adults. Thankfully for me I tried my best to always be a major part of their lives and most importantly always be there for them. Interestingly these last few days show me what wonderful children I have and how close my relationship is with them all. It’s a love like no other without any conditions, totally unconditional love.

In September I will have two children in university, but thankfully my eldest is a bit of a homebody like me and I guess and hoping she isn’t planning on moving away. Of course I have my five year old twins and they won’t be leaving home for a while, but this has taught me to take everything in and try not to miss anything, because you can’t get it back once it’s gone.

There comes a time in life that of course you will always be parents, but also you have to see them spread their wings. Life goes by so very quickly. It’s not fair. Haha!

Thankfully all three of them are home safely. Phew! I can breathe again.