The Top Stresses in Relationships: Is There Light at the End of the Tunnel?

From not helping out around the house to financial burdens, every relationship undergoes stress, and, unfortunately, it’s a never-ending instance that will continue to be around throughout the duration of your relationship… The key is all in how you handle the stress… together as a couple. 

Relationships are hard… No one has ever said that they’re easy, so once you reach your first relationship hardship, it’s something that should be expected. It takes trust, communication, understanding, forgiveness, listening, and patience, if you want the relationship to work. You’re going to, of course, have days where you both are extremely happy, and you’re going to have days where you aren’t speaking to each other, but as long as you both find your way back to each other, the relationship will be just fine.

In this article, we’re going to be looking at the top causes of stress in relationships and how to work your way through those stressors together. If your relationship is enduring any of these hardships, know that there is indeed a light at the end of the tunnel. Let’s dive deeper into these relationship stressors and learn how to get through them.

Top Causes of Stress in Relationships

Conflict: Disagreements and Arguments

If you think about it, do you really want someone who always agrees with everything you say? Most people don’t; You want someone you can contend with, and that’s going to mean that they’re not always going to agree with you. Here are the best ways to handle arguments.

Change your perspective on arguments. All too often, we look at arguments and disagreements as this terrible thing, when they actually aren’t. After arguments, there’s usually a renewed sense of understanding and appreciation for each other, causing the couple to grow closer to each other… Arguments aren’t bad things.

Talk about the issue and hug it out. In lots of relationships, someone isn’t a good communicator and prefers to not address an issue at all… that’s the last thing you want to do. Whether one person is a bad communicator or you both are, someone is going to have to step outside their comfort zone and talk. Once the issue is resolved be sure to hug each other to get some physical touch in to ensure there are no negative feelings lingering around from the previous conflict.

Lack of Effort

When you’ve been with someone for so long, it can begin to feel a little one-sided at times, and when that happens, it’s typically due to one partner feeling like the other is putting in little to no effort or isn’t investing as much into the relationship as the other.

Ask for help. Sometimes we can make ourselves feel overwhelmed with stress because we expect our partner to just know when we’re overwhelmed… That’s not how things work in relationships or anything for that matter. No one is a mind reader so we have to speak about how we’re feeling.

For example, if you have a wife, and she’s come to you about feeling overwhelmed before and hasn’t mentioned it again, pay attention to her behaviours… She’s more than likely displaying signs that she could use your help. Things like self-medicating, fatigue, and moods swings could all be signs she’s overwhelmed. That could mean helping more with the dishes, laundry, and cleaning up.

The same thing goes for women. If your man is stressed with work, and he’s constantly venting to you about it, you might find him giving you calls for help as well. Things like listening, helping him update his resume, helping him actively look for a job could be your way of putting forth more effort to help him in his time of need.

Finances: Money Coming in and Money Going Out

Did you know that financial problems are one of the biggest causes of divorce? The difference in financial habits and money management styles between two people have been known to completely ruin a relationship… But that doesn’t have to be the case with your relationship.

Talk about each other’s finances. When you two live together and both are working, that means that there are two incomes coming in. Sit down together, with no judgment, and discuss how much money each person is bringing in. Discuss personal bills and joint bills to come up with a budget that works for each person and the betterment of the home financially.

Look at all the household bills. If you and your partner are looking for ways to lower your monthly bills, you’ll want to look at all your bills as a whole, meaning personal and joint. Look for areas that can be reduced. 

For example, if you both have two separate policies with different car insurance companies, check to compare the rates of both policies and see about getting both cars on the same policy. If the electric bills are getting a little high as of late, look into ways to lower your bill; choose solar electricity instead of traditional electricity. There are always ways to work out financial troubles without it leading to the end of the relationship.

The bottom line is that relationship stress is hard, but it is normal. If you have or are experiencing any of the stressors in your relationship, just know that you’re not the only couple alone in this. Embrace the good with the bad because it’s only going to make the relationship stronger.