A Lone Dad in the Mum playground
My four year old twin girls started school a few days ago and for two days a week I will be taking and picking them up from school on my own and yes, I’m dreading! It maybe that I am worrying for no reason.
I’m a father of five children and I’d take the three older ones to school on a regular basis. I remember vividly the lack of dads on the mum dominated playground and yes it was unnerving even when you stood near other mums that had children in the same class. I always felt like an outsider.
Have times really changed? I think not! Testestrone was always a bit thin on the playground and I’m fairly sure that a few dads would gather in the corner of the playground and hope nobody would notice them.
The girls have just finished nursery and the nursery queue was mum dominated and there were just a handful of dads.Did I have many conversations with Mum’s or Dad’s while waiting with or for the girls to finish? No. Not really! Most mums would gather in their own circles and have a chat. Dads tend to be looked upon as outsiders. This is not your world! However, things are changing with more and more stay at home dads around, the playground is going have more dads there. We will never dominate it, but hopefully there will be a more equal balance.
On a number of occasions we collected the girls together and I found that just my wife and me would talk to each other. Did other mums stay away from wife because I was there, because strangely when I wasn’t there my wife said she used to speak to a few mums.
We are all parents, but does our conversation vary so dramicatically that mums and dads can’t integrate and have a pleasant talk about anything?
The girls are now going to school full-time so I’m expecting to stand alone in the playground waiting for the girls to go into school,because that’s the way it is!
7 Comments
John Adams
September 30, 2016 at 10:45 am
Bahaha! Welcome to my world Nigel! In my less guarded moments, I will admit I was largely ignored in the playground until I made a live appearance on Channel 4 News. It is tougher for dads. I think there are various reasons for this. I think the saddest part, however, is that when mums form tight, social groups, their kids socialise with each other. If you’re the loan dad, your kid often gets missed out. It’s not so much a problem for my kids any more, but it was at one time. Good luck fitting in with the playground….and pity the grandparents you see on the school run. Must be tougher still for them.
Hannah Brown
September 30, 2016 at 7:28 pm
I will talk to you if I have to!!! ha ha ha
Martin
October 1, 2016 at 7:27 am
My son has just started nursery and it is so awkward when I drop him off!
Abi
October 2, 2016 at 6:45 pm
I’ve found playground mums really cliquey so I can only imagine what it must be like for you! I’m a new face in a small town and am finding it pretty difficult to break in with the mums. They are polite enough but never forthcoming. Ah well, more time to blog for me!! #justanotherlinky
Claire mason
October 3, 2016 at 9:50 pm
You have opened my eyes from now on I will make an effort to speak to the dad’s in the playground.
Claire mason
October 3, 2016 at 9:50 pm
#justanotherlinky
Debbie
October 4, 2016 at 10:58 am
Hi Nigel, if it makes you feel any better I always kept my distance from the huddles of Mums waiting for their children. I always felt safer that way. Playground conversation can be competitive and petty, and I’m just not comfortable with that. You could always try and start a conversation with a Mum or two, they don’t all bite.
Hope your girls enjoy school!
#JustAnotherLinky