Parents Love
This is a question I have asked myself many times.
I will add that for many years this has messed with my mind and very occasionally still does, but generally I am accepting of the fact that he doesn’t recognise that he had a son.
What sort of person does that make me? Spineless? Not very strong or just a weak pathetic human being.
My children range in age from 20 down to three old twins and at different times they have pushed me, annoyed me and upset me, but I will always forgive them because a parents love does not have terms and conditions. It is an unconditional love. If this is wrong then that would make me a weak person, but I have always drawn strength from my children and they unknowingly give me a reasons to wake every morning, to try harder to be a better person than I was the day before. The other reason is my beautiful wife who I love with all my heart.
Though an unfortunate situation of being a child without a dad, I have a completely unconditional love for all my five children. I hope that when I am no longer here they say to each other that I was an ok dad.
22 Comments
Ashley Beolens
June 29, 2015 at 7:02 am
It's nice to know that the lack of a relationship with your dad hasn't stopped you becoming a great dad yourself, as so often can be the case it seems.
Sarah Howe – Run Jump Scrap
June 29, 2015 at 1:39 pm
I think sometimes having it rough when you are younger means you are determined to do it better for your children and obviously you have done this! You have a lovely family and they have a great Dad xx
Grant Cox
June 30, 2015 at 7:40 pm
Great post! "Spinelessness" and unconditional love are far from the same thing! So sorry to hear about the neglect of your father — and for all the children across the globe who are in a similar situation. And thank you for your loving your 5 kids the way you do.
nipperandtyke
July 1, 2015 at 7:27 am
What a feel good post to read. Your children are certainly benefitting from the difficult experiences that have brought you to where you are today
#bestandworst
Bethan Sian
July 1, 2015 at 10:59 am
I am sure they wont say you were an ok dad because I am sure they would say you were a fantastic dad!
I read your blog often and you can tell you love all your kids and wife so much.
It was a little weird reading this post if I am honest. I can relate to it so much.
My Dad has raised me since I was about 4-5 years old. He was a single Dad. I have a close relationship/bond with my dad. My Mother told the court she couldn't be bothered. She decided to stay with her child abuser boyfriend {who is no brain damaged}… They do say what goes around comes around…right?
But anyway, yeah, I haven't seen my mam since Christmas eve. She has said happy birthday once to my eldest, and never said happy birthday to my youngest. They are 3 and 5. My girls don't know who my mam is. I never call them their nain/grandmother. Because she isn't!
I could say a lot more. although it isn't nice having one absent parent because they can#t be bothered, I feel a little better know there is someone else out there and it is not just me.
One day when your 'dad' and my 'mam' are in their chairs old and frail they will regret it. I always think of that, but I always think. will I take care of her? I don't know {knowing me, I will because I am too soft}
So glad I read this post today. {sorry for the long comment!}
Natasha
July 1, 2015 at 1:57 pm
I think children grow up to be one of two things when looking at their parents: exactly the same or nothing like them!! And clearly you've chosen to be nothing like your dad. Your kids are very lucky to have you! x #wineandboobs
Something Crunchy Mummy
July 1, 2015 at 2:14 pm
This lovely and giving in doesn't make you weak. I do this and it's because I don't want to see them cry it upset. You have a lovely family and you can tell they love you and that you have and are doing great #bestandworst x
Sarah Howe – Run Jump Scrap
July 1, 2015 at 3:35 pm
Thanks for linking up to #bestandworst xx
MummyTravels
July 1, 2015 at 4:41 pm
What a lovely thing this will be for them to read – whatever else you do or don't do, as you know yourself, kids need to know they're loved by their parents. #bestworst
Caroline Elliott
July 1, 2015 at 8:17 pm
I think it's lovely that you do have such love for your wife and kids and have obviously been determined not to repeat your dad's mistakes. I didn't have the best relationship with my dad either and thank my lucky stars that my children have such a lovely daddy and won't have the issues that can leave behind! Xx
Mrs Tubbs
July 1, 2015 at 8:55 pm
That's beautiful.. The best gift you can give a child is knowing they're loved. Your family is lovely
Lora Critchley
July 2, 2015 at 7:47 am
I think that some people just don't have the necessary skills to be a great parent. I think it's really sad, but it's them that loses out in the end.
Sounds like you are a fabulous dad, and doing a great job. Keep it going!
Thanks for linking up with #wineandboobs
@twentyfirstmama
nipperandtyke
July 2, 2015 at 7:19 pm
Great that you have been able to turn your bad experience into a positive for you and your children.
#BestAndWorst
x Alice
Lisa – Four Walls, Rainy Days
July 3, 2015 at 6:33 am
Gorgeous post, I'm sure your kids know every day how lucky they are to have a great and loving dad – your determination for them to have better rings true!
Kirsten Toyne
July 3, 2015 at 9:48 am
This is a lovely post. Our childhood has a big impact on the parents we will be but not necessarily a bad one. Using our childhood situations can be like a spring board for doing things differently. Your last line was very profound. It is what we want as parents to be okay for our kids. We will never get everything right for them and they have their own journeys to go on in life but being okay is a good aim. #binkylinky
Jenny Eaves
July 4, 2015 at 12:56 pm
It's hard when you didn't have that figure as a child, but your mum has obviously done an amazing job being both your mum and dad for you. You're clearly a great and loving dad and I'm sure your children will see this too. 🙂
Mummy Tries
July 7, 2015 at 8:54 am
Good on you for breaking the cycle of dysfunction and being a better dad to your own kids.
Our stories have similarities, and you might enjoy my book. Learn more here: http://becomethebestyou.co.uk
Catie: Imperfect Mum
July 9, 2015 at 6:53 pm
I totally agree that love should be unconditional. When they have done something wrong I always say to my kids mummy is cross or disappointed but I still love you! #brilliantblogposts
Martyn Kitney
July 10, 2015 at 4:20 pm
Great post. My relationship with my dad was rough. My idea or parenting was rough. But that'd also made me try and want to be better.
I'm sure when they're older and they read this that they'll love this! Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky hope to see you there this week
Zena’s Suitcase
July 13, 2015 at 9:47 pm
It sounds like you are a very kind and nurturing father to me. Your own father has missed out on not only a son but some amazing grandchildren too. I know it's easy to say, but don't take it personally. It's not down to the kind of son you are, but the lack of father he is. Thanks for linking up with #MyFavouritePost
Honest mum
July 13, 2015 at 10:15 pm
What a lovely, touching post. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts, please add my badge or link back to http://www.honestmum.com. Thanks
Ickle Pickle
July 15, 2015 at 6:52 pm
Aaww what lovely post – I am sure you are a great dad. Thank you for linking up to #MyFavouritePost Kaz x