All Grown Up: How to Assist in Your Child’s Marriage

So it’s that time of your life when you, once again, realise that your children are no longer little cubs. They’re big and grown up now, and they have a long life ahead of them that will be full of mystery, fun and also sadness. You’ve been working hard to provide for them and you plan to continue supporting them with whatever life decisions they’ll make in the future, but when your daughter’s boyfriend asks for her hand in marriage or when your son approaches you about getting married, the world can seem like it’s suddenly flipped upside down.


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Dealing with the Emotion of Your Children Getting Married

Your child getting married will come with some mixed emotions. We all think we know our children, which is why the announcement of a marriage or proposal can sometimes catch us off guard. Perhaps you don’t really like the person they are getting married to, or perhaps you have mixed feelings about the entire situation. Maybe you think it’s rushed or too early, or maybe you’re worried about the financial situation that you and your family are about to get into. Let’s face it, unless your children are extremely well-off you’re probably going to have to contribute some money to their wedding budget.

So to help you deal with the emotional side of things, here’s a few useful tips:

Keep calm and support their decision. The first thing you should do is remain calm. Your child has chosen to be married to their partner, so whether it’s someone you don’t particularly like or if you think it’s too early, support their decision. The last thing your child needs in their moment of joy is their own parent refusing to acknowledge it or failing to support them. You don’t want this moment to be burned in the back of your child’s mind as a negative memory, so smile, stay calm and help them with anything they need. If you need to speak with your child, then do it later on in the form of a letter or by finding a quiet moment to speak with them. Don’t approach them about it instantly or react in a negative way. If you really have strong feels against the marriage, then you need to speak about it in private.
Spend more time with their fiance. If you’re not exactly well acquainted with their fiance, then you might want to spend a bit of time with them. Perhaps they didn’t make a good first impression or maybe you realised that you have some unwarranted dislike towards them. Spend some more time with them to ease your worries and fears and to ensure that they are the right partner for your child. It can help with a lot of things in the future and getting to know them can only help to improve your relationship. Far too many people think that they’re losing a child when they get married, but you should think of it more as you’re gaining more family members. Start by having lunch together, perhaps go on an outing together or maybe invite them over for dinner a couple more times.

Mark the special occasion by doing something unique. Whether it’s tidying up the house and looking through old photographs of your past together or spending some time together on a weekend trip, do something special to mark the occasion. Take a small break from work and give yourself some time to absorb everything that has happened. You’re going to need a mental break to help you deal with the aftermath of the news, so cut yourself some slack and give yourself a holiday.

Dealing with the emotional impact can be tricky and sometimes downright difficult, but it’s just one of the many complicated and difficult situations you’ll find yourself in.


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Dealing with the Financial Impact of Helping Your Child

Now that you’re emotionally prepared, you need to be prepared financially. If you’ve got to this point and you don’t have a savings account with money prepared, then you’re out of luck and you’ll need to rely on your own salary or even a loan to pay for your wedding. This is one of the main reasons why people feel like they aren’t prepared to marry.

In order to prepare for the financial challenges, we’ve prepared a couple of tips that will help you:

Start a savings account as soon as possible. If you’ve yet to hear the news, then there’s still time to start a savings account or simply save money for when the big day comes. You’ll likely have to contribute to the venue, wedding bands and even gifts.

Look for the best places to get your services. Make sure you do some shopping around when you start to look for things such as wedding rings, venues and catering. It’s important not to skimp on quality because a wedding is an event that should be treasured, not remembered as a bad experience. Look at quality businesses like Frost NYC for wedding bands, and make sure you look up reviews for venues before you start to negotiate the terms, conditions and pricing.

Avoid the wedding planner if possible. Wedding planners are expensive and come with a lot of disadvantages that could put you off. Since a wedding is such a special time, you want to have full control over what happens. You want to pick the decor, the location and also the food. A wedding planning is going to strip that control from you. However, if you really don’t have time to help with the planning process or if your child isn’t very familiar with wedding planning, then you have no choice but to pay the cash.

The financial stress you’ll encounter when assisting in your child’s marriage can be difficult, but with proper budgeting, a little advice and some planning, you can come out on top and provide your child with a wonderful wedding that they won’t forget.

Watching your child on the day of their marriage is going to be a wonderful feeling, so make sure you do your part and support them as best you can.

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