Brilliant dad feature week 3

March 13, 2015

This week our brilliant dad feature is Ashley from the UK who blogs at When the Dust Settles.

I am a father to three awesome kids (15, 11 & 5), two boys and one girl. IT worker by profession and award winning photographer.

I’m also a writer, blogger and all round wildlife enthusiast the rest of the time I’m Usually found either under a pile of kids or out photographing nature.

1. Have you always wanted to be a dad?

No, I don’t think so, growing up I was the youngest in my family, so babies were not something I knew much about.That isn’t to say I wasn’t overjoyed to find out about my first.

2. How did you feel when your children were born?

With my first, I was both elated and scared stiff, I had no idea what to do with babies my then wife was more used to this having being the eldest of 6 and having a young nephew so I kind of (regretfully) allowed her to carry on, with the next I was fully prepared and just happy, my third (my baby girl) was with a different woman (my partner and sole mate) but I was the more experienced one, so took more contro this time I was filled with nothing but pride and joy.

3. What have been the most rewarding experiences been so far?

Oddly I found this quite tricky to answer, while just having them around is reward enough, I struggled to think of a rewarding experience, but I guess all the moments of pride that they bring, the times when I get complimented for their behaviour, attitudes or manner it’s certainly rewarding to hear praise on the job you have done.

Actually having answered question 5 another answer springs to mind (again pride based) having the support of my 13 year old son (my eldest) at my sisters funeral was a very rewarding when I think back.

4. What are some of funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad?

I can think of so many funny moments, trying to single one out is hard, I have witty quick children (fun at times but a right pain at others) a recent example that springs to mind was with my daughter the other day she was in bed (over the holiday’s) and her TV timer went off, this was the conversation we had over the baby monitor (she is on the top of a 3 story house we needed some method of communication):

Daughter: Can I have some more TV please the timers gone off?
Me: No, it’s time for sleep if you have longer you will just be grumpy in the morning.
Daughter: You don’t know that.
Me: … Yeah I got nothing, ok 15 mins

5. Have there been any situations with your children that you found difficult to cope with?

Two things sprig to mind, my first child was a crier, he would cry all night sometimes and both his mother and I often struggled to cope with him and the tiredness it caused (me more so with the crying), it was a tough time but we got through it in the end.

The second, much, much tougher situation, was helping the kids (mainly my daughter as she was 3 at the time) deal with bereavement, while also trying to cope myself and support other family members. In 2013 we lost my sister to pneumonia on her 40^th birthday, she was close to my kids (not having any herself) and it hit us all hard and when my step-dad died later in the same year (just before Christmas) it completely wrecked our daughters confidence and outgoing personality, it has taken 2 years for us to fully get her back.

6. What are your dreams and hopes for your children?

My main dream for them is that they make lots of money and support me in my dotage.

But in all seriousness and as corny as it sounds I hope they all find happiness in whatever they do or become that their world is as they want it to be. They can be whatever they like have a family or not and choose to live how they like as long as they loved and cared for and happy in what they do it’s all good with me.

Thank you to Ashley for sharing with us all.

2 Comments

Ashley Beolens

March 13, 2015 at 11:19 am

I'm honoured to be featured 🙂 thank you Nigel.

Bo Beolens

March 13, 2015 at 4:29 pm

I'm proud to be the father of your featured dad… and he stole that hat from me!