Brilliant dad feature week 48
This weeks Brilliant Dad feature is Mark Richards he is the author of Best Dad I Can Be – currently voted Funniest Dad Blog in the UK and runner-up in the UK’s Funniest Blog Award. When he’s not sending money to his two children at university – or stocking the fridge for the one still at home – you’ll find him writing blogs and copy for his clients or speaking about blogging. The ‘day job’ is at www.SimpleWords.co.uk
Sadly, he is North Yorkshire’s only known supporter of Wolverhampton Wanderers.
1. Have you always wanted to be a Dad?
Possibly… When I was in my twenties I was far too busy having a good time – and bluntly, I was far too selfish as well. I suppose I always had a feeling that I would be a Dad, and as soon as I met my wife we both knew that we wanted to start a family as quickly as possible.
Now, I absolutely love being a Dad – always have. If it were socially acceptable and I could afford it I’d cheerfully be the father of 100 children.
2. How did you feel when your children were born?
Wet – Tom peed on me as soon as I held him.
Rushed – Jessica was born within two hours of my wife going into labour and damn nearly in the hospital lift.
And relieved when Ben was born: three children, all with the right number of fingers and toes. Thank you.
More seriously, nothing but nothing prepares you for the feeling you have when your children are born. When I first held Tom I looked at him and I was suddenly flooded with love. I simply could not comprehend how I loved that little boy so much, so deeply, so fiercely.
3. What have been your most rewarding experiences so far as a Dad?
It’s all been rewarding – beyond measure. My youngest son is acutely dyslexic – but he’s turned into a tremendous public speaker, not least because he has to learn everything by heart. Working and rehearsing with him over the years has been a greater pleasure than I can describe. But if I had to pick one single moment it would be this:
I played a lot of cricket as a boy, and I was pretty good. I naturally assumed that my sons would follow my example and Tom – bless him – did his best. But he had his mother’s hand/eye coordination. I knew it, and he knew it.
One day when he was about 12 or 13 he came to me and said, “Dad, I don’t want to play cricket any more.” For a boy of his age that was a tremendously brave and mature – thing to say. He must have thought that he was giving me the biggest disappointment of my life.
“What do I want to do instead?” I asked.
“I want to design F1 cars,” he said.
And he disappeared up to his bedroom and started designing F1 cars, teaching himself CAD and CFD programmes from scratch. Eight or nine years on he’s just finishing an engineering degree at Cambridge, and he’ll be joining one of the F1 teams as an aerodynamicist. An absolute lesson in listening to your children, having faith in them and trusting them.
4. What are some of the funniest moments to have happened to you as a dad ?
The whole of my blog is about funny moments. I’ve been writing it every week for 13 years, so there have been 650 funny moments. But you have to find the serious amid the humour as well: writing the blog has made me reflect on my relationship with own Dad, and it’s also made me a better father as well. For funny moments, let’s choose three though:
The first time my eldest son got drunk
The most embarrassing conversation I ever had with my daughter
And the time my youngest was arrested at the airport
5. Have there been any situations with your children that you have found difficult to cope with?
Hundreds. I don’t suppose the children will be emotionally scarred if I reveal this now but I was pretty crap at changing nappies. But two stand out – most parent/teacher evenings where I’ve had to battle the complacency and ineptitude of far too many teachers. And a couple of years when my daughter was a teenager. There were a lot of slamming doors and flying sandwiches. But we came through – for which my wife must take 99% of the credit.
6. What are your hopes and dreams for your children?
It’s tough to answer this one without resorting to clichés or banalities. But let’s have a go. First and foremost I want my children to fulfil their potential – because if you don’t do that there’s always a niggling feeling of ‘what if…’
Secondly, I want them to have plenty of children: because I am desperate to snuggle up with a small child and read to him or her again. I’m equally desperate to reprise my role as cricket coach – and several other Grandad related things. This is of course, pre-supposes that my children meet the right person, which is another of my hopes and dreams.
And I hope that when I’m just a photo on the mantelpiece – or probably in the loo – they’ll read everything I’ve written and know how very much I loved them.
