Dads Taking Their Daughters To The Mens Toilet

Today I will be speaking on the Radio at around 10am.

A researcher phoned me from the Jason Mohammed show which is broadcast on Radio Wales to ask if I would like to be interviewed. The subject matter was dads taking their daughters to the mens toilet in public places.

I didn’t know it at the time, but apparently a journalist had caused outrage on the ITV show, This Morning, saying that dads should not be taking their daughters to the mens toilet. So I thought I would give my thoughts and opinions on actually what I consider a ridiculous subject and something that should not actually be up for debate. It’s beyond belief to me that this could possibly be an issue.

Two of my daughters are five year old twins and I have on more occasions than I could possibly remember, taken them into the mens toilet if I have been on my own with them. I am not subjecting them to the depths and the darkest places of the men’s toilets, because they reek, so said this journalist, I’m not sure which men’s toilets she has been frequenting, but nowadays most men’s toilets I use are cleaned on a rota system which is on the wall for all to see. They never smell nowadays, oh yes, they do, sweetly.

If you need a wee and you are five years old and a girl, and you are only with your dad, then the men’s toilet will do absolutely fine. After all, you will use a cubicle, have a wee, wash your hands, then leave. I’m confident to say that I don’t think I will be scaring my daughters minds for the rest of their lives, because they used a mens toilet as a small child.

There was a number of things that were brought into the debate, that I feel need addressing. Firstly dads using ladies toilets with their daughters. That apparently is ok to be done according to said journalist. I’m sure many ladies would be deeply embarrassed knowing there is a male in the ladies toilet, even if he has his small daughter with him in a cubicle.

This journalist then suggested using the disabled toilet. They are disabled toilets for a reason. They are for disabled people and at most there is only ever a couple of disabled toilets,using these and maybe making a disabled person wait is totally unacceptable, when you can simply use the men’s toilet.

Finally, this for me was this journalists finest moment of complete madness. She stated that if she saw a dad taking his daughter to the toilet, she would stop them and suggest she takes his daughter to the ladies. Was she really being serious? Surely not, but she was. On the other side of the coin, does that mean a mum takes her son into the men’s toilets, because he needs to use a urinal? Does she asks a man who is a total stranger to take her son into the mens toilet, of course thats not ever going to happen.

We teach our children not to talk or go off with strangers, so what gives you the impression that I would happily hand over my five year old daughter to a complete stranger, so they could take her to the ladies to save her modesty? Never going to happen, and actually I know there is no chance of either of twins going to the toilet with a stranger. It would go against everything we have taught the girls about stranger danger.

The argument this journalist has, had no grounds. In fact after watching the show and reading the article in the Daily Mail I have come to the conclusion, that she is the type of mother that is holding back dads from being more involved in the care of their children, whether that be daughters or sons. There is also a hint of ‘dads not being capable’ of taking their daughters to the toilet.

There is of course the cynic in me that possibly thinks that she said all of this because it would cause a reaction. Which of course it has and maybe that was her intention, but surely there are so many worse things in the world to worry about. This is so far down the list of being a problem, actually it’s not on the list.

I will finally say that if we are out and about as a family, my twin girls will always go to the ladies with their mum, and we often go to the local leisure centre swimming, the girls always go in the ladies with their mum, but if I was on my own with them I would have no hesitation taking them into the men’s, and I wouldn’t be alone as many dads have young daughters with them in the men’s changing rooms.

What do you think? Is it completely acceptable or not to take your daughter in the men’s toilet for a wee? I would love to hear your thoughts.

17 thoughts on “Dads Taking Their Daughters To The Mens Toilet

  1. Utterly ridiculous (the journalist, not you!) I don’t think I’ve ever thought twice about taking my daughter to the gents toilet. Like you say, it shouldn’t even be on the list of problems. Good luck #TriumphantTales

  2. Another one of those ‘rich country’ problems. If my daughter in the future needs the toilet and she’s with her Dad she will most certainly be going to the men’s with my husband. I can’t imagine the looks he would get if he trotted into the women’s bathroom. Pure click bait on the part of that journalist! #TriumphantTales

  3. Oh for goodness sake! She must be living in the dark ages, or she’s never been a young child in desperate need a wee. Can’t for the life of me see what the problem is. I do, however, see a huge problem with a stranger offering to take a child to the toilet for a dad even if it is a woman #TriumphantTales x

  4. I have vague memories of my Dad taking me into the gents when I was out on my own with him and I was small. I don’t think it’s scarred me for life or anything. As you say I don’t see what the alternative is – the other options are not fit for purpose. I have a boy and I obviously had to take him into the ladies with me when out alone – I certainly wasn’t going to take him into the gents. Now though as he’s bigger, I wait outside for him while he goes to the gents. It’s a bit of a worry if he takes a while, but he’s 10 and he wants his independence.

  5. I don’t feel I can comment due to not having a daughter. But I read this thinking has that journalist got a brain. Or any parenting capabilities for that matter. Why would you think it’s acceptable to pass your child to someone you don’t know. Knowing of all the talk as of late about consent. What would happen if the child needed a no2 and there with a total stranger.

    I have a son (3) and wouldn’t dream of passing him over. And neither would my partner.

  6. Tricky one. I’m inclined to say it’s a matter of common sense. I always try to avoid going into the ladies with my kids, but it has happened once or twice. The real issue, however, is lack of changing facilities for gents. Sorry to have missed you n the radio earlier Nigel. Hope it went well.

  7. Fabulous post. If your child has to go, they have to go – it doesn’t matter if it’s a girl in the men’s or a boy in the ladies as long as they make it!

    I recently had to run my 3-year-old daughter into the men’s because there was a HUGE queue in the ladies, the men’s were empty and she simply couldn’t wait. As we were coming out we had a few funny looks but it got the job done so who cares 😀

  8. To be fair, I wouldn’t be arsed either way. If a man came into the ladies with his little girl I wouldn’t personally be that bothered as he’s not going to ‘see anything’ as we have cubicles, I don’t walk around the loos with my pants down & arse out. I also don’t see a problem with a dad taking his girl into the men’s either, if the kids got to wee the kids got to wee!

  9. sounds like you ran into a real idiot. I’m pretty fortunate that a lot of places that I went with my daughter had family bathrooms, one little stall for just this sort of thing. I’m OK letting her go by herself now, standing vigilant outside the ladies room, but would never have dreamed of just walking in there with her. When forced to, she went into the mens room with me #triumphanttales

  10. This is insane. Hubby is always taking my eldest into the mens. We have never even thought anything of it at all. It’s kind of like where else is she going to go??? Well done for getting on the radio and for linking with #bloggersbest x

  11. Great blog post, it really got me thinking. I guess my biggest problem is not having baby changing in all toilets when we go out. However now that Henry is being potty trained, soon he will transition to the toilet. Until he can go into the men’s on his own, he will be coming into the ladies with me. Renee #bloggerbest

  12. I’ve never really thought about it, but if my husband was out with my daughter on their own and she needed the toilet then she needs the toilet. My son comes into the ladies with me if we are out and it is no different, they are going into a cubical to use the toilet.
    It would be much nicer if more places provided family rooms it would be greatly received by everyone! #TriumphantTales

  13. The thing I dont get is that people dont blink an eye when boys go with their mums into the ladies, so why the other way around? Maybe, its because of the urinals, but I dont see an issue with it, girls gotta go on the loo anyway so its not like people can see them doing their business!
    Thanks for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back tomorrow!

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