Do children need boundaries/rules?

Even with a free spirt there has to be boundaries so that hopefully they will grow up to be well adjusted, polite, nice human beings and a credit to society and their family. 

What do I consider boundaries that I have applied to my own children? To be truthful they are not strict hard and fast rules, but simple things that make them nice people and respect their fellow human beings. 

I have to admit I’m very big on please and thank-you, and have taught all my children to use it as second nature. There is no substitute for this and it doesn’t cost anything. It’s just good manners.

If we go anywhere whether it be a restaurant, pub or a friends house I expect them to behave and play nicely with other children and not to have melt-downs because they can’t get their own way. It annoys me when we people with children come our home when their kids start to dismantle everything whilst their parents say nothing. Of course this is teaching our children that it is ok, that this behaviour is acceptable. What could they possibly be learning from that? It is unacceptable behaviour.

If somebody is talking to me I would never interrupt them until they have finished. Its quite honestly just rude, so another boundary for me is that children should not interrupt if you’re speaking to somebody. They should learn to wait until an appropriate time to talk. This is a great lesson to take into adulthood and people will appreciate not being interrupted.

With my older children the boundaries I put into place were quite easy and of no great hardship for them to live by more. Quite often or not it it was simple like being home at the time you said you would be home, ring so we know you are safe etc. Very general rules that are usually just common sense. 

I have taught my children to respect money. That you can’t always have what you want and sometimes you need to save up for it. If I’m being honest that one didn’t always work very well, and of course they think there’s a money tree at the end of the garden. I really wish I could I find it as it would make life so much easier.

Of course my children are not angels. They have behaved badly and have had melt-downs on very rare occasions in public, but generally they have always been very well behaved and a pleasure to take anywhere. 

We could of course just allow our children to be free spirited and do what they want and they can learn by their mistakes and hey, ho, the chances are you will end up with children in trouble, who have no respect for anybody or anything. 

We as parents have a responibililty to guide and help our children, but also to have a set of boundaries that can be achieved. There is no point in setting rules or boundaries which they can’t achieve because it will eventually lead to rebellion and possibly your children going off the rails. 

Rules and boundaries if applied correctly won’t affect their imagination, creativity, independence and their ability to grow as children into adults.