Everybody needs a parent even though you are a parent.
Even though I am a parent I have often thought I am still somebody’s child and just occasionally it’s nice to feel wanted as a child,even though I’m all grown up.
Being a dad to five children ranging in ages from 20 years old to four years old I have been a parent a long time, not that, that makes me any kind of expert.
You get caught up in the rollercoaster ride of parenthood from babies to toddlers and beyond. You just forget that you are a child to somebody too.
In my case my mum was the only parent that was consistent in my life and even now as an adult I like to listen to my mums advice. Strangely it’s nice to sit and talk about any worries I may have just as a sounding board which could be about anything from work to children.
Thankfully I have always had an open relationship with my mum so I have always been able to talk about any subject to her.
This is something that I have always tried to encourage my own children to do with me and I believe they can.
Recently over Christmas I had the chance to have two car journeys with my 18 and 20 year old daughters separately and it was fascinating. The two hour journeys became quite in depth conversations about their lives and worries and they didn’t seemed embarrassed to talk to me about anything which gave me a very good feeling that they were that comfortable with me. Some of the issues were very personal which I never thought they would talk to me about although I’m not about to divulge the subject matter to the world, I don’t think they would ever forgive me. So here I was being a parent again don’t get me wrong it’s the best job in the world and really wouldn’t have it any other way.
Many times I have heard that people say they never told their parents anything when they were teenagers. The chances are that is still the case now they are older. What a shame that those closest to us can’t come and talk openly, and the likelihood is they pass this onto their children being distant.
My Mum always encouraged me to talk to her about anything and not to be frightened of any response I may get because all of the time it will be positive response, and I have definitely passed this onto my children.
Being open with your children and being able to hold a confidence which is vital to get your children to talk to you openly is another valuable lesson my Mum taught me.
23 Comments
TheSpeedBump
January 5, 2016 at 10:12 am
This is such a lovely post! I'm 21 and when I became a mum myself I forgot that I still need my mum sometimes. These days when I look at my little girl I feel so scared of her doing what I did – running off into the big wide world at 19 and not seeming to need me anymore. Thankfully I soon realised I do need my mum's advice and love still!
Lovely post, really lovely xx #abitofeverything
Dean of Little Steps
January 5, 2016 at 10:22 am
I so agree with you, but of course, when I was in my 20s, I probably wouldn't. But now, especially since I am now one. I definitely agree that at any age, we still need our parents:) #abitofeverything
Eimear
January 5, 2016 at 10:32 am
This is lovely Nigel, my dad was always like that with us, open and not afraid to talk about the personal things which is just brilliant, that's the way we will be with our chidlren too, its the healthiest way to be.
tracey bowden
January 5, 2016 at 10:47 am
How great you have that relationship with your children and your mum too. I hope I can have a similar relationship with my daughter as she gets older #abitofeverything
Teddy Bears And Cardigans
January 5, 2016 at 1:02 pm
I always encouraged my children to talk to me but one day my son said "I dont tell you everything, mum" with a huge smile on his face. I knew then he had gone from childhood to adulthood. Like you I could talk to my mum about anything, sadly she isn't here anymore so I still talk but just get the feeling of a warm smile back. Cherish the time with your mum and your children. Happy New Year #abitofeverything
A Cornish Mum Blog
January 6, 2016 at 10:08 am
This is the relationship I aim for with my own children, and at almost 10 and 11 they talk to me about all sorts of things in their lives… I really hope that continues in the teen years!
Thanks for linking up to #Picknmix
Stevie
Silly Mummy
January 6, 2016 at 11:15 am
Lovely post and sounds like you have great relationships through the generations in your family. #ParentsCorner
Agent Spitback
January 6, 2016 at 11:19 am
I love this post! This has struck a chord with me and something which I feel so passionately about. This is what I hope to continue to have with both my parents and children. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeveryting
Nicky Kentisbeer
January 6, 2016 at 1:35 pm
This is lovely and I totally get you. We lost our father when I was 21 and my mum 7 years ago and I really miss that relationship. What I also miss is that my daughter and my husband never knew my father and the relationship that she would have had with my parents. There is nothing like that relationship. I love to see grown up daughters and their mums hanging out together and I hope that my daughter and I are able to do that when she is older. It sounds as though you have a fabulous relationship with your children and the fact that they can confide in you says it all. Lovely post. Nicky
Jeremy Barnes
January 6, 2016 at 2:24 pm
thanks great that you were able to have that time with the teenagers. It can be so hard to get them to open up, sometimes getting them alone and trapped is nice. This post made me go and call my own mother
Helen Gandy – Beautiful Things
January 6, 2016 at 9:07 pm
That is great that they were able to open up to you, I always used to feel comfortable talking to my dad too, he was always reassuring and would listen to my dilemmas! Not so much now though ha! Great post Nige and thanks for linking up and happy new year! #bestandworst
Sadia
January 7, 2016 at 6:02 pm
I took my lack of a relationship with my own parents as inspiration to keep a constantly open relationship with my children. They're only 9, so time will tell if our closeness lasts, but I take active steps to encourage us to be open with other. For instance, every single night, without fail, we each share the best and worst thing that happened during our day, something funny, and something we learned. Neither my daughters nor I permit a day to go by without checking in with each other in a meaningful way. I suppose this sort of closeness may be typical of a single parent family, where that one parent can't assume that the other parent is carrying the weight. Sadly, I haven't felt like I was someone's child in a long, long time. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home. #happydiaries
Something Crunchy Mummy
January 8, 2016 at 7:38 am
This is a great post and how lovely that they opened up to you. Thanks for hosting #binkylinky x
recoverymummycardiff
January 8, 2016 at 9:15 am
Aw such lovely photos…your are very lucky to have a beautiful family like this x
Helen Gandy – Beautiful Things
January 8, 2016 at 12:02 pm
Popping back over from the #binkylinky thanks for hosting 🙂
Jodie Allen
January 8, 2016 at 5:51 pm
This was such a lovely post to read. I hope as my daughter grows up she feels she can talk to me. I always had a good relationship with my dad and that has helped me so much throughout my life #BinkyLinky
Reimer Ruby
January 8, 2016 at 6:24 pm
What a lovely post, I'm so touched! I'm the same, I always share a lot of things with my mum… I think I would like my own kids to have the same closeness and relationship with me too, I like that they can tell me everything not kept secrets from me. Lovely photos, gorgeous kids! #binkylinky
thebutterflymother
January 9, 2016 at 8:04 am
I completely agree. I still love to lean on my parents for support and advice and I'm so grateful to still have them. Loved reading about your car journeys with your daughters – I often find I have my most meaningful conversations on long car journeys 🙂 Thanks for sharing. #bestandworst
Lizzie Grover
January 9, 2016 at 1:26 pm
What a lovely post. I've always chatted with my parents about things and have always gone to them to sound off but I think we could have had a closer relationship. I still need guidance and support from my family since we've become parents and I hope my children always come to me like yours have with you, thanks for hosting #binkylinky
Emma
January 9, 2016 at 3:56 pm
I have a good relationship with my parents although my mum lives 6 hours away & I hope my children will always been able to talk to me. So far so good but will see what the teenage years bring.
Lifeinthemumslane
Bethan Sian
January 10, 2016 at 10:28 am
Totally agree. I really hope my girls and Baby can talk openly to me when they are older:) x
Mrs Tubbs
January 10, 2016 at 6:45 pm
So true. If you can have the kind of relationship with your children that they'll talk to you about important things, it's such a gift. You are very lucky to have that with your parents and to have passed that on
theanxiousdragonsblog
January 13, 2016 at 6:37 pm
It is great that you have such a good relationship with your mum and that you have used that to develop an equally good relationship with your kids. I agree its verybsad when you see the bad parenting of older generations being reflected in the parenting styles of their children. Thanks for linking, Tracey xx #happydiaries