I Was Once Part Of A Happy Family Of Five 

In the near future I will be doing a blog post about a company that basically revitalises all your old black & white photos.

So at this point I decided to raid my mum’s house for as many old black and white photos that I could find,  and wow! What a shock I was in for.

Regular readers of my blog will on occasion come across posts that are about how dysfunctional and messed up my childhood was. So it came as a huge surprise when I came across about six or seven photos showing when I was part of a happy family of five on holiday.

I actually have very little recognition of this time, but then again I was only about four or five years old. We actually look like any other happpy family on holiday and I guess we most likely were. What was about to happen in the folllowing couple of years would live with us all forever, and two people would destroy what looks like a bubble of happiness.

Within two years my mother and father went down the path of self destruction. Looking back it was like a tornado taking out everything in its path. Unfortunately in this case, it’s collateral damage that would have a lifelong effect on the relationships that three innocent children had with each other.

One of the other photos I found was three small children on a boat, all giggling and having fun and smiling for the camera, with innocence painted all over their faces. It is was, I guess, what a happy family can look like.

This is of course my birth family. The fallout of all those years ago is still there today. Basically no relationships between two brothers and one sister. In fact my sister and brother have not spoken in over thirty years and I speak very occasionally to my sister, and I genuinely can’t remember the last time I had contact with my brother.

I was sat at the dining table looking at the photos and showing the photos to my wife and my five year old twins and explaining to them who everybody was. Then my wife asked me a question. She asked me how I felt looking at the pictures of my childhood.

I answered without hesitation with just one word, sad. Just sad. That this is how it’s all ended up. I also added that what an incredible waste of years it was, lifetimes changed forever.

The following day I had a long drive to do and it gave me time to reflect. So many families have a self destruct button and my birth family was no different and it certainly self destructed, unfortunately beyond repair.

The sadness for me is the waste and hatred that has manifested from two peoples selfishness without a moments thought to their children. Yes! Two will have a lot to answer too, and face the consequences of their unbelievable actions.

For all of that. it is so nice to see three siblings together and smiling, even if it was many years ago.

My impossible dream is one day we are reunited without misgivings, hate and the realisation that we are born from the same two people. Our common denominator which should make us bond, but I know that it wasn’t our fault what happened, which should have made us stronger, but pulled us apart year by year to where the gulf is now so wide that it seems impossible to bridge.

This post is written for my brother and sister, one day just maybe…