My Premature Twins: World Prematurity Day

Regular readers of my blog will know I’m a father of five children and there’s not a day that goes by where I don’t feel lucky and blessed to have five healthy children.

Of my five children, two of them are five year old twins who were born premature. They were six weeks early.

When I look back upon that time five years ago, it never fails to bring a tear to eye and make me very emotional, because they really were tough times.

If you haven’t had a premature baby, it’s impossible to explain the rollercoaster of emotion you go through. The truth is only people who have had a premature baby or spent time on a neo-natal unit will truly understand how difficult that time can be. It’s very lonely because so often, and rightly so the ward is closed to all visitors except parents so you don’t have your family to support you through a very difficult time.

I have teamed up with Pampers again to tell you what #PrematurityIs to me, and this time it’s for World Prematurity Day.

I knew at about 30 weeks into my wife’s pregnancy that my twin girls were going to be premature, but that being said nothing in this world can prepare you emotionally for how you will feel when your premature baby comes into the world, or in my case, when I was confronted with two premature babies.

This quite honestly shocked me, especially when I saw how tiny they both were. They weighed just 4lb 3ozs and 2lbs 11ozs. At that moment I feel my life as a dad was defined in a very special way that will live with me forever. I felt an overwhelming feeling of being protective toward my babies, coupled with a feeling of being totally useless and surplus to requirements because I had to rely on the expertise of neo-natal doctors and nurses.

Having premature twin babies is a difficult time when you’re sitting there looking at them in incubators, willing them to put weight on so that you can be nearer to holding them and feeding them. It’s a waiting game which can be tiring in itself.

You are constantly waiting for a change or an improvement, but it doesn’t always go like that. As was the case with my one twin girl R. A few hours after she was born I knew something was wrong. Her breathing was very laboured and it obvious even to me that she was going to require help with her breathing.

What happened next will live with me forever.

A consultant paediatrician told me R would have to go on a ventilator to help her breathing. This left me in emotional turmoil, especially as I had to go and tell my wife who was recovering from the c-section in another part of the hospital. At this moment I was torn between my child and my wife. Where do I go? Who do I stay with? A very emotional and stressful time.

This is very typical of having a premature baby. One minute everything is ok, but premature babies can deteriorate very quickly, which is something I learnt quickly, and I also realised my emotional state would be all over the place for the entire  time the twins spent in neo-natal.

In the UK there are approximately 60,000 babies that are born prematurely every year. This is a lot and it works out at around 1 in 11 births is a premature baby. Thankfully in 2017, medical science has enabled more of these babies to survive. With so many more premature babies surviving there was also a need for a nappy that fitted. Neo-natal nurses told Pampers that the current nappies were way too big for preemie babies. They often had to be cut and folded to fit which would cause a lot of discomfort for the babies.

Pampers set about developing the smallest ever nappy for premature babies who weigh less than 1.8lbs at birth. These would have definitely been a huge help when my five year old twin girls were born.

Since then, however, Pampers has made a commitment to donating an amazing 3 million nappies to all the neo-natal units in the UK. Since they launched the Premie Protection Nappy range, 54 of the 196 neonatal units in the UK have received their free donation, which in turn has helped an estimated 18,285 babies. Now that is some achievement.

Pampers are always appealing to the other neonatal units to claim their free supply of the preemie nappy.

Pampers, who also continuing their partnership with Bliss – the biggest Preemie charity in the UK – to raise awareness of the huge struggles on a daily basis that premature babies face, as well as trying to raise thousands of pounds to help premature babies and of course their families.

On World Prematurity Day this November 17th, Pampers will be raising money on social media and have pledged to donate £1 for every social post shared which includes the hashtag #PrematurityIs and @PampersUK. So let’s get sharing what prematurity means to you to raise as much money as we can.

Premature babies reach milestones that we so often take for granted. Pampers are also releasing limited edition milestone cards which are aimed at celebrating some of the very unique stepping stones that premature babies achieve. The ‘Today I am going home’ milestone card is my favourite.

After 27 days in the neonatal unit, my wife and I were finally able to bring our girls home. This was such a wonderfully emotional time for us. Those 27 days felt a lot longer, but to have had one of these milestone cards available in order for us to capture the moment on camera forever would have been brilliant.

These will be available at neonatal units across the UK, and also available exclusively on the Bliss website for free. The milestone cards will have phrases such as “I went up a nappy size today” or “today I had my first cuddle”. To many, these milestones may not mean a lot to a lot of people, but to a premature baby and their parents it’s a huge milestone.

When I became a dad of premature twin girls my perspective on life changed so dramatically. I no longer take anything for granted. I realised for the first time in my life, I learnt the fragility of life and when you are watching your own children basically fighting for their lives, I remember at times feeling desperate, not understanding what was happening to the twins, even though all the staff of the neonatal ward always did their best to explain everything, but so often it went over my head.

Thankfully five years on the girls are thriving and very healthy, but the experiences of the neonatal unit where the girls started their lives will stay with me forever.